No Please Don't
by jaspersgodess
Summary: Another Dimitri leave Rose for Tasha. This is after frostbite so shadow kiss happens Dimitris just not there to help. Rose gets hurt badly. Is dimitri back in time or is he to late to tell Rose how he really feels
1. THE DECISION

Chapter 1,

Rose's POV,

I was running late for practice again Dimitri was going to kick my ass, but then again he was proberly used to me being late. It really was something I couldnt control, I tried to be on time but I always end up smashing my alarm and needing a new one which always gave Lissa something to shop for which made her happy, which I liked to do.

I think everyone had seen a change in me since Mason even Eddie had changed we were more dedicated to being the best guardian's of all time. Dimitri was always pushing me making me do better. But what he didnt realise is not only was he helpping me to become the best guardian of all time but he was also giving me a lesson on control.

It was always so hard to control myself around the one person I loved with everything in me. But we had to because if we let ourselves love each other and act on that love then when it came time to defending our Moroi, Lissa then we would have to make a choice, a choice I'm not sure I could ever make between the two people I loved most.

Lissa was and always will be my best friend, she was the first person to beable to deal with me, Lissa and her family became my family we spent all of the holidays with them and Andre was a brother to me like he was Lissa. When we had that accident and they died it was both of us that suffered and we grieved together. Lissa is not just my best friend or the Moroi I have sworn to protect till my last breath but she is my sister to.

I got to the gym and saw Dimitri standing in the middle staring into space. So I walked as slow as I could and tried to catch him off guard. Yeah I need to learn that Dimitri is never off guard. He spun around so fast caught me by the arms and spun me to the ground where he pinned me with a big smile on his face.

" Hey I didnt do anything wrong that time, I was so quite." He smirked and lifted his eyebrow.

" Yeah but the battle cry kinda gave you away next time dont scream like a banshie."

" Haha Im beginning to think that I am never going to catch you off guard."

" Maybe."

" Hey comrade love you being on top and all but maybe we should start the lesson Im late again."

He looked shocked for about 0.1 seconds then gracefuly stood up and offered me his hand, so I took it.

" Okay whats first boss?"

" The usual Rose, you are late again so you know what that means. I want 75 laps today"

" What? I only normaly do 50."

" Yes I know but now your doing 75. But I will run with you today. See if you can keep up."

And with that he took off running out the door and to the track, I shook my head and followed. Yeah my 5 foot 6 frame was gonna be able to keep up with his 6 foot god knows what.

I caught up to him just to have him run so much faster then I ever could, show off.

Dimitri's POV,

I saw Rose catching up to my slow pace, she looked impress with herself that she could catch up to me, so I thought I'd play with her and took off faster then before. She stood there with her mouth hanging open loooking like a damn fish.

She took off runnning and was actually alot faster now then when she first came back after her little vacation with the Princess.

She completed her run in under 35 minutes.

" Okay Rose, Now I want you to do some weights then we will spar for the last twenty minutes of the lesson. You know what to do so get on with it."

She nodded her head and headed to the weights. she was an expert on these things now so she didnt need me to stand there and tell her what to do. So I sat on a nice part of the floor and pulled out my lastest western novel I was reading. I saw Rose look over to me with a smile on her face, she took one look at the book and shook her head. Yeah she always has something to say about my taste in books.

I wasn't even really reading the book I just made it look like I was. I was thinking about my choices here with what I wanted to do. I have spent my life always believing that The Moroi come first because its what we're taught from the first day we enter into the Academy. We were taught that it is a Dhampir's duty to become a guardian and protect the Moroi. But with that came sacrifices for us Dhampir's we would never have our own life unless we turned away from being a guardian but that would be mean leaving our world behind.

Not only that but we were not aloud to love someone else. We were not aloud to feel, I have always told myself that the sacrifice is worth it. Until I met Rose and she stole my heart. I am willing to give everything up for her, to leave this world behind and live happy with the love of my existence.

But I would never tell Rose this, it is Rose's dream to become the guardian to the Princess her best friend her sister. So who am I to take that away from her? Who am I to ask her to choose betweent he both of us.

I loved Rose with everything in me and I wouldnt let her ruin her career for us. Tasha Ozera asked me if I wanted to become her guardian and have a family with her, the one thing Rose and I couldn't ever have together. I turned her down because how could I ever be happy with her when Rose is always on my mind?

It was easy at first to put all my feelings for her to the back of my mind and stay professional but now knowing that I love her the way I do, its getting harder to control. Everytime I saw her all I wanted to do was kiss her or touch her but I cant.

I know what I have to do but its going to kill me to do this to her, to hurt her but I cant and wont let her ruin her career for me. In the long run she will thank me.

I took my phone out of my pocket and got up a new message window.

_Hello Tasha, Im in trainning at the moment with Rose.  
We will be finished in Thirty minutes. Can you ring me we  
have something to discuss.  
Thank you. X_

I then sent it to Tasha I knew Rose was going to hate me after this but I have to do this.

It came time for me and Rose to spar and you could feel the sexual tension between us. We both threw punches and kicks and were getting hit after Twenty minutes of this Rose finally pinned me and declared me dead. I was so proud of her, she has won her first sparing session with me. She was still on top of me breathing hard and looking into my eyes and I looked into hers.

I'm not really sure who made the first move but suddenly her lips were on mine, there was so much passion it lite me on fire. We started off slow but the heat grew between us, I rolled over so I was on top and continued kissing her. We were both getting carried away so I had to stop this.

I pulled away from her and got up off of her, I offered her my hand which she took, I pulled her up and let go just as quick she let a little hurt show on her face at that.

" Rose this cant happen between know that"

" Im sorry Dimitri it just kinda happened okay."

I nodded my head and said that practice was over then walked out of the door. Rose is the only person that can make me lose control.

I got back to my room just as my phone started ringing. I knew who it was so answered straight away.

" Hello Tasha, thank you for getting back to me."

" Dimka how can I help?"

" Tasha I would like to reconsider your offer if its still open?"

" Of course its still open. But are you talking about the whole offer?"

" Yes Tasha I am."

" OKay Dimka this is going to be great. When would you like to come?"

" I think I should leave as soon as possible so how about I sort everything out today and leave tomorrow?"

" Thats great. I live in Russia now so it will take you like thirteen hours to get here."

" Okay well I will ring you when I have everything in order."

Okay Dimka See you soon."

" Bye."

I didnt give her chance to say anything else I just put the phone down, and wondered how I was going to say goodbye to Rose.

I would have to do it tonight before the annual karoake night, so I would go and tell Alberta that I was leaving then find Rose and tell her.

I left the room and went straight to Alberta's office, I knocked on the door and heard her quite Come in. I pushed the door open and saw her sitting at her desk reading. she looked up at saw it was me and smiled.

" Hello Dimitri how can I help you?"

" Alberta I came to tell you that I am leaving the Academy tomorrow to become Tasha's guardian and more."

" Dimitri I thought you were in love with Rose."

I looked at her shocked because I know that I never told her nither would Rose. She just looked at me amused.

" Dimitri we all know how you and Rose feel about each other. And we're okay with it even Kirova knows and she's fine. You have changed Rose so much that we all knew something was going on, so we decided to watch you and thats when we saw it."

" But Alberta the Queen cant know, Rose's career would be ruined."

" No Dimitri it wouldn't be. The Queen Knows the only one that is ruining anything is you by leaving. But if this is what you want I will arrange the jet and cover for you. I hope you are making the right decision for both of you. If not this is going to kill Rose."

" Alberta I have made my decision."

" Very well. I will arrange the jet for tomorrow morning."

" Thank you."

I walked out and went to find Rose. its lunch time so she will be in the caferteria. I went straight there and found her sitting with her friends, I went over.

" Sorry to inturrpt Rose can I have a word please."

" Sure Guardian Belikov."

She got up and walked behind me to the quad outside.


	2. GOODBYE TO LOVE

Chapter 2,

Dimitri's POV,

I stopped just by the fountain near the quad and turned around to face her, She looked me in the eyes and what I saw there it was going to make this so much harder.

" Hey so you wanted to talk?"

" .. Rose you know I love you right?"

" Yeah Of course whats this about?"

" Rose I'm leaving."

" What? What do you mean your leaving? Dimitri your my mental you cant just leave."

" They will find you another mental thats not a problem."

" Dimitri you cant leave. What about me?"

" Rose thats why Im doing this, for you. I cant let myself love you. We could seriesly ruin our careers."

" Is that all that matters to you? Your damn guardian tittle?"

I was shocked that she would think that.

" Rose no please dont think like that, you know you mean the world to me."

" Then why are you leaving?"

" We cant be together you know this. And it is getting harder to control myself around you. Becuase when ever I see you all I want to do is touch you, hug you damn it Rose cant you see."

" All I see is you running away"

" Im not running away this is the hardest decision I have ever made."

" Where are you going?"

" Rose please lets not go there."

" Where are you going Dimitri?"

" Ive taken Tasha's offer to be her guardian and more."

" Guardian and more huh? Yeah thats not you running away at all is it."

" Rose please."

" Dimitri please dont do this."

I looked into her eyes and saw all the pain that I was causing her. She had tears running down her face.

" Rose Im sorry I never meant to hurt you."

" Well you have. Have a nice life Guardian Belikov I hope Tasha makes you a very happy man."

" Rose please dont make this any harder then it already is."

" Hard you think this is me making it hard for you? No Dimitri this is me showing you how much you have broke my heart."

And then she let the tears come they were just running down her face. I took a step towards her to hold her and hug her but she took a step away from me.

" Dont Dimitri please dont make this any harder for me then it already is. This is killing me"

" Rose Im sorry."

She looked up at me, looked into my eyes and smiled but it was forced and I knew it.

" Im sorry to Dimitri. I love you I do but if this is what you want then I know Im not going to change your mind."

" Rose this wasnt a choice between you and Tasha this is about me showing you how much I love you."

" Love? Love Dimitri if you loved me you wouldnt be leaving me."

" Rose."

She cut me off with her hand and just shock her head.

" Dont if your going to go then go. Its been nice knowing you Guardian Belikov. I hope you have a very happy life with Tasha but most of all I hope never to see you again. Because you've ripped my heart out."

She then turned away from me and ran.

I cant believe I have just done that to the woman I love. God she was brutally honest with everything.

Yeah ripped her heart thanks. She wouldnt even let me kiss her goodbye.

i took one last look after her and went back to my room to pack.

I have just broken the heart to the most important person in my life and I dont think she will ever forgive me.

Roses POV,

I cant believe after everything we have been through that he is just leaving, his a coward thats what he is. Running when the going gets tough.

I got back to my dorm and just sat on the bed looking out the window not really thinking about anytning. I am going to miss him so much, He is the first guy I have ever felt this way what I said to him was true I hope I never have to see him again and be reminded of how much pain he is causing me now.

He doesnt realise that I need him now more then ever,he doesnt even know what is going on with me, I dont even know what is going on with me.

All I know is that when Lissa has these weird dark feelings inside her mind they come into me and make me mad as hell, Its getting harder to control these shall we say darkness spells. I dont what Im going to do.

Maybe its me as her bond mate maybe its my job to suck the darkness from her mind and let it affect me so I slowly lose my sanity but she stays sane.

I couldnt tell Lissa any of this of course becayse she panics alot and worries way to much, she has to much going on in her life to worry about me. All she needs to do is keep her self calm and focus on her school work the rest is my problems to deal with.

We've got the field experience coming up to I was hoping that I would get Lissa but knowing this damn school and the way they love to play with me I proberly wont get her.

I was still sat on the bed looking out of the window when Lissa sent me a message through the bond asking me why I wasnt at lunch, i just couldnt get the strength up to go so I just stayed where I was.

I was focusing on the window so much I didnt hear when the door opened and closed and didnt notice when someone came in until they sat next to me. I looked over to see who it was and it was Dimitri. I couldnt look at him for to long because I knew I would cry if i did.

" What are you doing here? Dont you have packing to do?"

" Rose, Im sorry I hurt you."

" Dimitri just dont okay. Why are you here?"

" The Princess asked me whether I had seen you I said no and asked why, She told me that you never went to lunch. So I came to check on you to see if your alright."

" Alright? Alright? No Dimitri Im not alright and I never will be so just go Im sure Tasha cant wait to get her claws in you."

" Rose just please dont do this"

" Im not doing this, your doing this. Your doing this Dimitri your running away, your letting me deal with everything on my own, I cant do this on my own I need someone here helping me. But no the one person I love the most is running away from me because he cant handle things when they get to tough. Well just go Dimitri just fuck off and leave me alone."

" Rose please at least let me say goodbye."

I looked at him without crying.

" Goodbye Guardian Belikov." I saw him flinch from me calling him his tittle rather then name.

" Goodbye Roza."

I turned away from him and went back to staring out of the window.

Dimitir's POV,

I left Rose on her bed staring out of the window, She said she needs someone here to help her she cant do it on her own but I didnt know what that meant. She would know that in the long run this is the best choice for the both of us.


	3. DARKNESS

Chapter 3,

Rose's POV,

He left me sitting there, how can he come into my room and ask me how I am with what he has done. Its not like I was going to be over him after three hours of him telling me he was leaving. How can he do this to me? God damn it!

I focused into Lissa through the bond wondering where she is and what she is doing. I went into her head and found her with Adrian practiceing spirit with him, she was still trying to get into my dreams at night but was unable.

She has been using alot of spirit lately and it was really taking a toll on me, not her because I would take the darkness away, Although nobody knew this, nobody not even me really understood the bond between us. I have been studying it trying to find information on what will happen, the only people ever documented to having a bond like us was Vladimir and Anna. But much of that stuff was not well documented.

I needed information from either of the two, I did read some books that Vladimir has wriiten, but I need something from Anna because she is like me. I need to know what is going to happen to Lissa.

I was taken away from my thoughts when I felt a huge dose of the darkness starting to affect Lissa, so I sucked it away. Although I was doing the right thing by taking the darkness from her, it still affected me and it made me angry it made me so angry that I had to let it out. And the only person I could of to let it out at was Dimitri. He deserved it, he hurt me now I must hurt him.

I flew from the bed, ran out of the door and ran to Dimitri's room, I banged on the door so loud that the matron from reception came running to see what the problem was, She asked me if I was alright I shock my head and asked where Dimitri was. She told me he was in the caferteria on duty.

So I ran from the guardian building to the caferteria, I barched through the doors and everyone turned to look at me. I saw the guardians around the room looking at me with raised eyebrows, I then saw the person I was looking for. I ran up to him and punched him so hard in the face. He was so shocked that he didnt even get time to block me.

" Rose what the hell?"

" You, You bastard, how the fuck can you do this to me? You fucking bastard I gave you everything I had and you used me. How the fuck can you use me? I was so in love with you, You prick you think that you can just leave me?"

" Rose you need to calm down, stop shouting everyone can hear you."

" I dont give a shit if people can hear me. you bastard you used me."

" I didnt use you. What is going on? This is not like you, what are you doing?"

_Dimitri's_ POV,

I was on duty in the caferteria for my last time ever at the academy I was focusing on my job but my mind was also wondering how Rose was. I was there for all of ten minute when Rose came storming into the caferteria, I knew something was wrong just by the way she was looking. She came straight up to me and punched me in the face, I was so shocked I just looked at her.

" Rose what the hell?"

" You, You bastard, how the fuck can you do this to me? You fucking bastard I gave you everything I had and you used me. How the fuck can you use me? I was so in love with you, You prick you think that you can just leave me?"

" Rose you need to calm down, stop shouting everyone can hear you."

" I dont give a shit if people can hear me. you bastard you used me."

" I didnt use you. What is going on? This is not like you, what are you doing?"

She looked me in the eyes and all I could see was darkness in hers. All the white had gone. I didnt know what to do but I knew this was not Rose, maybe this is what she was talking about, when she said she couldnt do it on her own.

The doors opend again and in came in the Princess, with Lord Ozera and Lord Ivashkov. They all looked our way and I saw Thr Princess looking curiously at Rose. But what shocked me was the look that Adrian had it was pure fear. He saw me looking at monthed to me. _its the darkness from lissa, rose has been sucking it out of lissa's mind. you need to get her out of here and to the gym._

I saw that he was being series so I grabbed Rose and pulled her outside with me. I lead her into the gym and let her lose. She started in on me again.

" What is with you? Your running away yet you cant seem to stop helping me. Guess what Dimitri this is not helping becuase your making me want you more. Just go damn it leave me the hell alone and dont ever come back. But before you go I just want you to know that you have broken my heart beyond repair."

With that I walked up to her grabbed her and spun her onto the mat and pinned her down. " Rose you listen to me this is not you. this is the darkness speaking so stop it. Come back fight this."

She looked at me then I saw the fight that was going on inside her mind then she was limp in my arms. So I picked her up and carried her to the infirmary maybe the darkness took it out of her. I cant believe this has been going on and she hasnt even told anyone about it.

She is taking all the insanity away from Lissa, so she can have a normal life but what about Rose? what will happen to her is she carrys on taking all the darkness, will she finally go insane and we lose her? or will she do what Anna did and kill herself to get rid of the insanity.

Either way I was really starting to think that me leaving was not a good idea for nither of us. Maybe she did need my help and maybe me leaving was making it worse. Im going to have to find some information out on this whole bond thing for both of there sakes. I left Rose in the infirmary sleeping.


	4. FINDING THE FACTS

Chapter 4,

Dimitri's POV,

After I left Rose I went straight to the library to see if they had anything that would give us any information on the bond between Lissa and Rose. She needs my help or some help well any help that I can give her before I leave and I leave tomorrow. I have thought about not going but would me staying really help her? Or would I make things worse?

I couldnt let Tasha down now and I couldnt mess Alberta around with this whole mess. I got to the library and went straight to the restricted section, I found all the books on Vladimir I could and went and sat down with them. They all seemed normal with the usual type of information. Expect one it was a little worn and I couldnt make out the name but I read it anyway.

_Date is october 15 1880 ( unsure of the exact date that vladimir and anna were around )_

_I wouldnt survive without my prescious Anna helping me the way she does. She takes my darkness away from me, So I can live a normal insanity free life and help as many people as I can with my rare elament of spirit. Even though Spirit is a powerful power and many want to use it against me. I have many uses with my elament, I can heal, I can dream walk, read minds per say I have strong compulsion and many more that I do not even have the knowledge of yet. _

_But with using Spirit there comes a price, with a little life it takes its toll on me, leaving me with this dark twist to my mind that is like me losing every ounce of sanity I had left, until Anna takes it away from me. Although this is useful to me, to Anna it is just as dangerous to use. She is taking it away from me but putting it into herself. Which in turn is driving her to insanity everyday. _

_I can see the signs now they were so little at first but the more I used the more I saw the difference in my precious Anna. At first it was just temper tantrums, she would lose her patience so fast and she could be so mean. But then there were more consquences to me using my spirit. The price was her life. Everyday I used my spirit it drove her faster to the end of her life. She was having so many episodes. She was seeing ghosts, and she could sense when strigoi were around. This was going to be so difficult I choose Anna a long time ago but it is so hard to stop using the magic I was born with. Anna is my guardian but also my love. But she was losing strength everyday, she couldnt fight to protect me much longer._

_Her mind was going and there was no way I could help her come back to me. She told me once that this was the price she would pay to protect me, because she is my guardian. But if I knew that this would happen I would never start using my power._

_Date january 20 1881._

_Anna has become someone else, her mind no longer what it used to be, I found her trying to cut herself with my razer the other day. She said she wishes to die, She has only moments of time when she is Anna but that lasts for no longer then a full minute. But during that minute she would tell me the same thing. I want to die, my love. I have lived long and happy with you, and I have protected you to the best of my abilities. But now it is time that you let me go. I love you my love. Then she would lose that moment of clarity and no longer be my Anna. It is so painful to see her going through this for me._

_My magic is so unbearable when I have not used it. Anna...My sweet Anna, How can I let this happen to you? I wish there was something to be done. I have caused this and I can not bear, Her wish maybe but no I can not lose her._

_Date January 25 1881_

_My Anna is no longer here. Today I found her in the bathroom. She had managed to cut her wrists so bad that the blood was everywhere. I couldnt save her. The world of the dead has claimed my love because of me. _

_If you are reading this then you are looking for information on a bond. My dear reader you are also looking for help that I can not offer. Anybody that is bound by a bond like this is dooomed but only the one bonded is doomed. Unfortunately we spirit users get to live without our bond mates and knowing this is painful._

_If you know of anyone that is bonded then please advise them not to become a guardian. They will not survive after the darkness has hit. The darkness controls there mind, it takes over everything that they used to be. They will lose everything about them._

_Treasure every moment you spend with them because they will not be forever._

_I am sorry that I could not offer any help but the bonded are lost to the world of the dead, they were taken away but they will always be sought after by the world that they should have never escaped from._

_Vladimir _

I sat there after reading this, I couldnt move, there is no help for my poor Rose, she is going to suffer. She is sacrificing her life for the Princesses and no one can see it but me.

If Rose in the caferteria was only the start, then we were in some major trouble. I have to share this information with Alberta she needs to know, so someone can always look out for her, and so that when Rose has a darkness attack they knew how to handle her.

I rushed out of the library, and ran to Alberta's office. I banged on the door and heard her say come in.

" Dimitri what how can I help you?"

" Alberta you have to know something. Rose she is sucking the darkness from the princesses mind, because she is a spirit users. Before you doubt me I have prove."

I got out Vladimir's diary and passed it to Alberta.

" What is this?"

" This is Vladimir's diary. He was also a spirit user and Anna his guardian was bonded to him like Rose and the princess. You have to watch her Alberta the darkness she is going to lose her mind."

" Dimitri?"

" Please read it before you say anything."

She nodded her head and started reading.

Rose's POV,

I woke up in the infirmary wondering how I got there, I got up off the bed and walked outside to speak to Doctor Olenski.

" Doctor Olenski, what am I doing here?"

" Rose, your awake. Guardian Belikov bought you here about an hour ago he said you had passed out and thought it best to bring you here. But now that you are awake you can leave there is nothing wrong with you."

" OKay thanks Doc."

With that I left the infirmary trying to remember what had happened. I was stood by the quad when I heard someone calling me.

" Rose. Rose"

I looked round to see Adrian standing there.

" Did you just call me Rose?"

" Yes it happens deal with it. Look Rose you have to listen to me."

" OKay you drunken bum whats up?"

" Rose you know the bond between you and Lissa? "

" Yeah,"

" Well how would you feel if I told you that you were sucking the darkness out of Lissa's mind."

" I would say that you are crazy and have been drinking to much,"

" Rose this is me being series, I havent had anything to drink since I met you. But this is not about me. I know what I saw in you aura please listen to me."

" Adrian I have no idea what your talking about."

" Okay let me explain. Me and Lissa have been practicing spirit alot lately and you must of felt something in her mind. some thing dark. That would be the darkness, but instead of Lissa feeling the effects of it you are. Thats why you went off at the cradle rober earlier. That was not normal for you."

" Okay say I believe you, What am I suppose to do about it? I cant ask Lissa to stop using her magic, that wouldnt be fair."

" Oh but you losing your mind is fair? "

" We just have to find some more information on it."

" Okay but we should tell Lissa."

" NO, This stays between us Adrian, no one is to know."

" Fine Rose but if I feel the need to tell someone then I will."

" Fine."

I then walked away. This is getting stupid. I wake up in the infirmary after apparantly going off at Dimitri, something that I dont remember happening.

What is the last thing I do remember? Come on think.

I remember sitting in my room and feeling anger but then nothing. Nothing what so ever.

How can I lose my memory. What the hell? Maybe I have just blocked it out.

Think come on.

Then like lightening something dinged in my brain, I remember. I felt so much anger, I stormed off to the caferteria. And Oh no I punched Dimitri in front of everyone.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I cant believe I did that and said what I did. But most of it was true or maybe it wasnt.

I have to find Dimitri and see what the hell is going on with me. Maybe he can help me. So I made my way over to Dimitri's room.


	5. LETTING HIM GO FOR THE SAKE OF LOVE

Chapter 5,

Rose's POV,

I got to Dimitri's room and knocked on the door. He opened it with shock on his face.

" Rose what are you doing here?"

" I have to talk to you. Your face did I do that?"

He had a black eye and a brusied nose.

" Its okay, I know you didnt mean to. come in I think we need to talk."

I walked into his room and sat down on his desk chair. He looked at me with a sad expression.

" Rose we need to talk about what happened today."

" Dimitri I am so sorry, I never meant to do that to you. I honestly dont know what came over me. I just felt so angry at you for leaving me, but not only you I was angry at everyone. Lissa for having the perfect life, she can live the life she wants. Adrian for being royal and having power to change things but no doing anything. Christian for taking Lissa away from me. Everything made me so angry and you were the only one I could think of to hit off at."

" Rose, I know I saw it in your eyes. I saw that, that wasnt you. I also know what is going on with you. While you were shouting at me Adrian came in and saw your aura, he said it was so dark he had never seen anything like it. He told me that you are taking the darkness from lissa. So I did some research to see if I could help you out. I did find something."

He went and got something from his room and came back with a book, he gave it to me and told me to read page three.

_Date is october 15 1880 ( unsure of the exact date that vladimir and anna were around )_

_I wouldnt survive without my prescious Anna helping me the way she does. She takes my darkness away from me, So I can live a normal insanity free life and help as many people as I can with my rare elament of spirit. Even though Spirit is a powerful power and many want to use it against me. I have many uses with my elament, I can heal, I can dream walk, read minds per say I have strong compulsion and many more that I do not even have the knowledge of yet. _

_But with using Spirit there comes a price, with a little life it takes its toll on me, leaving me with this dark twist to my mind that is like me losing every ounce of sanity I had left, until Anna takes it away from me. Although this is useful to me, to Anna it is just as dangerous to use. She is taking it away from me but putting it into herself. Which in turn is driving her to insanity everyday. _

_I can see the signs now they were so little at first but the more I used the more I saw the difference in my precious Anna. At first it was just temper tantrums, she would lose her patience so fast and she could be so mean. But then there were more consquences to me using my spirit. The price was her life. Everyday I used my spirit it drove her faster to the end of her life. She was having so many episodes. She was seeing ghosts, and she could sense when strigoi were around. This was going to be so difficult I choose Anna a long time ago but it is so hard to stop using the magic I was born with. Anna is my guardian but also my love. But she was losing strength everyday, she couldnt fight to protect me much longer._

_Her mind was going and there was no way I could help her come back to me. She told me once that this was the price she would pay to protect me, because she is my guardian. But if I knew that this would happen I would never start using my power._

_Date january 20 1881._

_Anna has become someone else, her mind no longer what it used to be, I found her trying to cut herself with my razer the other day. She said she wishes to die, She has only moments of time when she is Anna but that lasts for no longer then a full minute. But during that minute she would tell me the same thing. I want to die, my love. I have lived long and happy with you, and I have protected you to the best of my abilities. But now it is time that you let me go. I love you my love. Then she would lose that moment of clarity and no longer be my Anna. It is so painful to see her going through this for me._

_My magic is so unbearable when I have not used it. Anna...My sweet Anna, How can I let this happen to you? I wish there was something to be done. I have caused this and I can not bear, Her wish maybe but no I can not lose her._

_Date January 25 1881_

_My Anna is no longer here. Today I found her in the bathroom. She had managed to cut her wrists so bad that the blood was everywhere. I couldnt save her. The world of the dead has claimed my love because of me. _

_If you are reading this then you are looking for information on a bond. My dear reader you are also looking for help that I can not offer. Anybody that is bound by a bond like this is dooomed but only the one bonded is doomed. Unfortunately we spirit users get to live without our bond mates and knowing this is painful._

_If you know of anyone that is bonded then please advise them not to become a guardian. They will not survive after the darkness has hit. The darkness controls there mind, it takes over everything that they used to be. They will lose everything about them._

_Treasure every moment you spend with them because they will not be forever._

_I am sorry that I could not offer any help but the bonded are lost to the world of the dead, they were taken away but they will always be sought after by the world that they should have never escaped from._

_Vladimir _

I didnt know what to say. What was I suppose to say? This just told me, I was going to die no matter what I do. My life would always be a sacrifice to keep Lissa safe. What the fuck? Life is so unfair. Everything I do, I do for Lissa and now I do have to give my life but it may just end before its even begun.

I looked up at Dimitri who had sat there unmoving the whole time and just looked at him.

Dimitri's POV,

I gave her the diary and watched her read it, at first she looked excited then that changed to shock and disbelief. She sat there for some time after just looking at the floor. Then she looked up at me I could see she had tears in her eyes, she was looking at me and I knew she had so many questions I could see that in her eyes, but she didnt know how to voice them. So I gave her the time she needed to sort through her head and ask me the questions she needed to.

" So no matter what I do, my life is always going to end the same? Im never going to be able to live a happy life? The darkness took over tonight Dimitri and from this book, that was just the start of it."

" Rose, I am here for you no matter what okay, Im not leaving anymore. I cant leave you when you need me. Please tell me what is on your mind."

She looked at me with tears running down her face and a sad smile on her face and she was slowly shacking her head.

" No Dimitri, your not going to be here for me. You are going to go and live a happy life with Tasha. You are going to let your feelings for her grow. And your going to be a dad."

I looked at her like she was mad. How can she think I am leaving her now.

" Rose, Im not going. Im not leaving you when you need me"

She got up and came over to me and knelt down in front of me. She grabbed my hands and looked into my eyes.

" Yes Dimitri you are. Because you staying here is not going to help me or you. There is no future for us you know that. But now there is no future for me. You have to go and live Dimitri, promise me. You have to live for me Dimitri my life does not matter this is the price I have to pay to protect Lissa, And if that means you leaving then so be it."

I could see the tears just pouring out of her eyes. She looked so sad, she knew what was going to happen to her and she was asking me to leave her. I couldnt she was my world without her I wouldnt have a life.

" You cant ask that of me. Thats not fair, I love you so much. I cant leave you."

" Dimitri I love you with all my heart and that is why Im doing this. I cant let you see me at my worst. That is something nobody can see. "

" But Rose I dont care I love you inspite of everything, whether your at your bad or good. Your always be my Roza."

" You have to let me go,"

Let her go? No I couldnt and no I wouldnt, I was shacking my head to her and she just smiled even bigger but I could see the sadness in her eyes.

" Let me go and be happy,"

" Please dont do this? Please Rose I love you so much I cant."

" Yes you can. Just let me go and live happy with Tasha,"

She leaned up to me and kissed my lips with so much passion and fire that I didnt want to let her go, but she pulled away from me before I could grab her. She leaned towards my ear and whispered. " I love you Dimitri, forever and always dont ever forget that."

" Rose I love you please dont."

She shook her head and got up to leave, but I grabbed her head and made her look at me. " Please dont."

" I have to."

She took her hand back and walked out of my room. I sat there for so long after just thinking. Did she really just leave me because she wanted me to be happy? When she was going through so much on her own. She told me to go and be happy. As if I could be happy without my other half, My soul mate.

She just left, I saw how much it hurt her to do this, She is sacrificing so much so Lissa can be happy. She has such a wonderful heart I dont know how she can do this. I know I was leaving but after finding this out can I really leave her?

I need someone to talk to so I went to Alberta's office, I knocked on the door and she told me to go in. When I walked in I saw her having a meeting with Kirova. They both looked at me.

" Dimitri Headmistress is here discussing what we have found out about Rose."

" I dont think thats a good idea do you? You shouldnt discus her without her being here."

" Does she know?"

" Yes she does. She came to me today and she was upset, she wanted to know and I was not willing to let her live her life without knowing what was going on. I even gave her the diary to read."

" And how did she take it."

" Very well considering. When I found out I was coming here to say that I was staying and not leaving but Rose told me to go. She told me to let her go and be happy. I dont know what to do."

" Wait? She took this okay?"

" Of course not, She took this with calm and serentiy but she is upset and confused. She is saying goodbye to all the important people in her life before she becomes to bad and will not be able to."

" Okay well it says in the diary that she can not become a guardian because of the darkness right? so we have to stop her from doing that."

I looked at Kirova sharply.

" Are you crazy? You can not do this to her. She is the only one that can protect the Princess not only from strigoi but from herself as well. If you want Rose to lose it before time then take the one thing away from her that will keep her sane. I know Rose I know her more then any of you, she will fight this with everything she has in her. And she wont go down without a fight. You can not take the on thing away from her that matters to her."

" Dimitri is right. She will fight this."

" Fine she stays in training unless this becomes to much for her, then we get the Queen involved am I clear?"

We both nodded.

" Okay with that said. Dimitri what are you doing? Are you staying or going?"

I looked to kirova.

" If I knew that I wouldnt be here would I? God I dont know, I want to stay and protect her but I also want to do as she has requested of me."

" Dimitri do what you think is best."

" I have to go dont I?"

They both looked at each other and then looked at me, they nodded there heads and smiled softly at me.

I nodded to them and left I turned back to Alberta and said.

" Alberta I'll be leaving tonight can you arrange cover that qucik? I cant stay here any longer, if Im going then Im going to go. And promise me you will keep me updated with Rose?"

" I promise you I will watch her and keep you updated. And yes I can arrange cover that quick it will be fine."

I nodded my head and continued on my way. I have to say good bye to her again, I need to see her just one last time. So I headed to her room, when I got close I could hear music coming from her room. It was fix you by coldplay.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want, but not what you need  
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone, but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go  
But if you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
Tears stream down on your face  
And I...

Tears stream down on your face  
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes  
Tears stream down on your face  
And I...

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

I heard her sobbing so I went to her door and knocked quitely, she opened it and I could see that this has affected her more then she will allow anyone to see.

" Dimitri what are you doing here?"

" I came to say goodbye Rose, I will do what you ask of me, But I had to come and see you one last time. I am leaving tonight so you wont have to see me anymore. Please fight Rose, fight to keep who you are."

" Goodbye Dimitri. You and I both know it is pointless to fight this. But I have to tell you that I have loved you so much, nobody will ever replace you. Just be happy."

" I love you to Rose."

I leaned down and kissed her lips then left to gather my stuff and head to the school airstrip.

I got my stuff and left the key to my room with the matron on duty. I walked out of the building and automaticly looked up to Rose's window where I saw her sitting on her ledge looking out of it. She caught me looking and waved softly and smiled the sadest smile I had ever seen from her, then she looked away.

I got to the plane and said good bye to Alberta, got on the plane and left for my new journey with Tasha, I just hope that Albert stays true to her word and keeps me updated about Rose.

Rose's POV,

I said goodbye to Dimitri, I had to let him go, he couldnt see me the way I was going to end up. He came back to my room and told me he was leaving and that he wanted me to fight, but we both knew that me fighting wouldnt do any good. This is something that we couldnt control.

This was going to happen to me whether I wanted it to or not. The biggest part of this is it was all happening because I loved Lissa so much and wanted to protect her with everything I have in me and now I was literaly I was giving up my sanity to protect her.

If that was not a good guardian then I didnt know what was.

But the diary said that I shouldnt become a guardian the darkness was to powerful. That once it takes hold there is no fighting it. And maybe I didnt want to fight it anymore, If me and Dimitri couldnt be togther because of our world does not allow it then I dont want to be in this world anymore.

But there was no running away for me, I couldnt run away from this, it would get me no matter what. I was looking out of the window when I saw Dimitri looking up at me I waved to him and offered a small sad smile and then looked away, I couldnt see him go that would kill me.


	6. KNOWING WHAT TO DO

Chapter 6,

Dimitri's POV,

I landed in Russia thirteen hours later, my thoughts and mind still on Rose. She is such a strong person to be dealing with all this alone. If she didnt ask it of me, I would never have left. She is the love of my life and leaving her killed me. I just hope that Alberta thinks to let me know as soon as a change happens in Rose.

I was bought out of my thoughts by Tasha calling my name, So I looked up and saw her walking towards me. She was trying to walk with a swagger to make her hips sway just that bit more, I think she was trying to be sexy but it just wasnt working for her. Dont get me wrong she is beautiful but nobody will compare to my Roza. She is a Rose amoung bushes. She is the most beautiful being in my world. I still cant believe Im not going to be seeing her everyday.

If this does not work and Alberta tells me she has deterated then I am on the next plane back to St Vladimirs. I am doing this for her, she asked me to leave so I have to try it.

" Hey Tasha how are you?"

" Dimka it is so good to hear from you." She then hugged me. I hugged her back instantly. It was nice to see her after so long. But she would never be able to replace my Roza.

" Tasha, its been to long."

" It has. Well come on, grab your bags and lets go,"

I grabbed my bags and followed her into the waiting car.

Roses POV,

I must have sat here staring at nothing outside the window for most of the day and night. I waved Dimitri off then turned around, I couldnt bear watching him get on the plane even if it was me that made him leave. Saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing in the world. But I had to give him a chance at a happy life.

I felt her before she knocked my door, I got up and opened it and for a moment, she looked shocked that I had managed to open the door before she knocked.

" Hey Liss, What are you doing here?"

" Hey Rose, where you on your way out or something?"

" Urm no why?"

" Well you opened the door before I knocked so I thought."

" Liss, I felt you coming through the bond."

" Oh right okay, yeah the bond."

" Liss what are you doing here?"

" Well I came to check on you because you havent been down all day for any food and well I was worried."

" Im fine Liss I promise."

" Okay but you have to promise me that your still coming to the annual school karoake party in two weeks?"

I looked at her like she had lost her damn mind. She looked at me and pouted and gave me the puppy dog eyes so I caved.

" Okay I'll come."

" Yay, and you have to sing."

" Liss I dont know nobody here has ever heard me sing other then you."

" I know which is why you have to do it."

" Fine."

" Yay."

" Okay Liss, I'll meet you in the caferteria in a bit theres just something I have to do"

" Okay Rose,"

She hugged me then left. I knew what I had to do, but doing it was a different story. I knew that there would be questions about why I was doing it but I could never tell anyone expect Alberta and Kirova.

I left my dorm, and got to Alberta's office, I knocked the door and heard her say come in.

I walked into the room and she looked up from her desk.

" Rose, what can I do for you?"

" Would it be possible for you to get Kirova in here I need to discus something with both of you."

" Of course take a sit and I'll call her."

I sat down and waited for her to call Kirova, I was so lost in my thoughts that I didnt see Kirova walking into the office and sitting down.

" Okay Rose, you have us both here so what is it we can do for you?"

" I know Dimitri has told you about me. I have thought none stop about what the complications would be for me. I have come to a decision and I have made this on my own and I dont want any one to know until they need to. I dont want any arguements I just want you all to know what my decision is."

" OKay Rose what is it."

" I want time to say goodbye to my friends properly, I want to graduate, but after that, I know I can not become a guradian so I will withdraw my guardian tittle and sit on the side lines just continuing to take the darkness from Lissa. Not only that but I want to be promised that if I deteraite to much then you will send me to Tarasov so I am not a danger to anyone."

I looked at both of them and they looked shocked as hell that I had come up with this.

" Rose, are you sure this is what you want?"

I looked at Alberta like she was insane.

" No this is not what I want, I dont want any of this. I dont want to lose my mind because Im protecting my best friend from her self, I didnt want to tell the love of my life goodbye because I dont want him to see me at my worse. I dont want any of this Alberta but I have to do what I have to do to protect everybody from me."

" Rose, Im sorry that questions was stupid."

" Just please promise me my wishes will be protected? I need to know before I lose my mind to much."

" Of course. we will abide by your wishes Rose. All of them."

" Thank you."

I got up and walked out of the room, I was going to to go back to my room but I changed my mind and walked to Adrian's room. I knocked the door and he answered, he looked shocked to see me but then ushered me in.

" Hey Rose. what you doing here?"

" I know about the darkness Adrian, Dimitri told me he also gave me this."

I gave him the diary and told him to read it.

Adrians POV,

I was sitting in my room having a drink because me and Lissa over used our Spirit last night. It was alright for her because little does she know but Rose is taking all her darkness, so she doesnt feel any of the affects. But I do.

I was taken out of my thoughts by my door knocking so I went over to open it and stood there was Rose, I ushered her in and she sat down.

" Hey Rose. What are you doing here?"

" I know about the darkness Adrian, Dimitri told me he also gave me this."

I looked at what she had in her hands, it looked like a book. I took it from her and opened it up.

_Date is october 15 1880 ( unsure of the exact date that vladimir and anna were around )_

_I wouldnt survive without my prescious Anna helping me the way she does. She takes my darkness away from me, So I can live a normal insanity free life and help as many people as I can with my rare elament of spirit. Even though Spirit is a powerful power and many want to use it against me. I have many uses with my elament, I can heal, I can dream walk, read minds per say I have strong compulsion and many more that I do not even have the knowledge of yet. _

_But with using Spirit there comes a price, with a little life it takes its toll on me, leaving me with this dark twist to my mind that is like me losing every ounce of sanity I had left, until Anna takes it away from me. Although this is useful to me, to Anna it is just as dangerous to use. She is taking it away from me but putting it into herself. Which in turn is driving her to insanity everyday. _

_I can see the signs now they were so little at first but the more I used the more I saw the difference in my precious Anna. At first it was just temper tantrums, she would lose her patience so fast and she could be so mean. But then there were more consquences to me using my spirit. The price was her life. Everyday I used my spirit it drove her faster to the end of her life. She was having so many episodes. She was seeing ghosts, and she could sense when strigoi were around. This was going to be so difficult I choose Anna a long time ago but it is so hard to stop using the magic I was born with. Anna is my guardian but also my love. But she was losing strength everyday, she couldnt fight to protect me much longer._

_Her mind was going and there was no way I could help her come back to me. She told me once that this was the price she would pay to protect me, because she is my guardian. But if I knew that this would happen I would never start using my power._

_Date january 20 1881._

_Anna has become someone else, her mind no longer what it used to be, I found her trying to cut herself with my razer the other day. She said she wishes to die, She has only moments of time when she is Anna but that lasts for no longer then a full minute. But during that minute she would tell me the same thing. I want to die, my love. I have lived long and happy with you, and I have protected you to the best of my abilities. But now it is time that you let me go. I love you my love. Then she would lose that moment of clarity and no longer be my Anna. It is so painful to see her going through this for me._

_My magic is so unbearable when I have not used it. Anna...My sweet Anna, How can I let this happen to you? I wish there was something to be done. I have caused this and I can not bear, Her wish maybe but no I can not lose her._

_Date January 25 1881_

_My Anna is no longer here. Today I found her in the bathroom. She had managed to cut her wrists so bad that the blood was everywhere. I couldnt save her. The world of the dead has claimed my love because of me. _

_If you are reading this then you are looking for information on a bond. My dear reader you are also looking for help that I can not offer. Anybody that is bound by a bond like this is dooomed but only the one bonded is doomed. Unfortunately we spirit users get to live without our bond mates and knowing this is painful._

_If you know of anyone that is bonded then please advise them not to become a guardian. They will not survive after the darkness has hit. The darkness controls there mind, it takes over everything that they used to be. They will lose everything about them._

_Treasure every moment you spend with them because they will not be forever._

_I am sorry that I could not offer any help but the bonded are lost to the world of the dead, they were taken away but they will always be sought after by the world that they should have never escaped from._

_Vladimir _

I looked at Rose, how can she keep going through all this crap for her best friend.

" Rose I dont know what to say."

" Adrian, you have to promise me something."

" Okay Rose."

" Dont let Lissa try and heal me anymore because that makes the darkness worse, please keep her away from me as much as you can. Also keep check of my aura and make sure that people know what to look for with my episodes. And now is the time to say goodbye before I dont have the mind to do it anymore. "

" I dont understand what your saying."

" You have to get everyone in this room tonight for me. Eddie, Mia, Lissa, Christian, they all have to be here. Please Adrian you have to do this for me."

" You want me to have a party?"

" Well yeah if thats the easy way to think about it."

" Okay what time?"

" Have everyone here for 7pm please."

" Okay. I'll arrange that now."

" Thank you."

She got up and kissed my forehead then left my room. I grabbed my phone and rang Lissa she would be the best person to ring to arrange everybody to be here.

" Hey Adrian whats up?"

" Lissa do me a favour. Get everybody in my room for 7pm tonight please. Dont ask questions just do it please."

" Okay we'll be there."

I hung up the phone and sat there thinking. I cant believe that someone can go through so much just to protect one person. I have heard guardians say, They come first but Rose takes this to a whole new level.

I quickly text Rose telling her everybody would be here and then I just sat thinking.


	7. SAYING GOODBYE

Chapter 7,

Rose's POV,

I got the text from Adrian telling me everyone was at his room waiting for me. I was still standing in my bathroom looking into the mirror. Im not vain by any notion but I wanted to look into the mirror to see if there was any difference in my appearance and there was a little difference. My eyes that had so much life in them they were slightly dull. The sparke was going out I could see it.

I left my room and went over to Adrian's Knocking the door very loudly, he opend the door and ushered me in. Everyone was in his room, Lissa, Christian, Eddie, and Mia. They all look slightly confused but all said hello to me.

" Hey everyone thanks for coming I asked Adrian to get you all here for a reason. I have something I have to tell you and I want you all to let me finish what I am saying before any of you speak or ask questions. Can you do that?"

They all nodded there heads. I looked over to Adrian for a bit of support, he looked at me and gave a small smile and nodded his head.

" Okay guys. The reason I asked you here is because there is something happening to me that I think you should all know about. You all know that I share a bond with Lissa, and that I can go into her head and stuff. But you dont know about the darkness, See Lissa is a spirit users and with spirit users they have side effects. Lissa and Adrian both have darkness but Lissa doesnt get to know about how bad hers can be because me being her bond mate can take away her darkness, therefore I take away the madness that using her elemant can cause. Adrian uses alcohol and cigs to contol his. If I have taken the darkness from Lissa my mood then becomes bad and I do not mean moody. I mean dangerous. Also with this it can cause you to lose your mind and go insane. Unfortunately there is no cure for me, I will always take away the darkness which means my destiney is to go insane and lose my mind. I have asked you all here to say goodbye to you before I lose it completely. I have something to read to all of you this will help you understand more."

_Date is october 15 1880 ( unsure of the exact date that vladimir and anna were around )_

_I wouldnt survive without my prescious Anna helping me the way she does. She takes my darkness away from me, So I can live a normal insanity free life and help as many people as I can with my rare elament of spirit. Even though Spirit is a powerful power and many want to use it against me. I have many uses with my elament, I can heal, I can dream walk, read minds per say I have strong compulsion and many more that I do not even have the knowledge of yet. _

_But with using Spirit there comes a price, with a little life it takes its toll on me, leaving me with this dark twist to my mind that is like me losing every ounce of sanity I had left, until Anna takes it away from me. Although this is useful to me, to Anna it is just as dangerous to use. She is taking it away from me but putting it into herself. Which in turn is driving her to insanity everyday. _

_I can see the signs now they were so little at first but the more I used the more I saw the difference in my precious Anna. At first it was just temper tantrums, she would lose her patience so fast and she could be so mean. But then there were more consquences to me using my spirit. The price was her life. Everyday I used my spirit it drove her faster to the end of her life. She was having so many episodes. She was seeing ghosts, and she could sense when strigoi were around. This was going to be so difficult I choose Anna a long time ago but it is so hard to stop using the magic I was born with. Anna is my guardian but also my love. But she was losing strength everyday, she couldnt fight to protect me much longer._

_Her mind was going and there was no way I could help her come back to me. She told me once that this was the price she would pay to protect me, because she is my guardian. But if I knew that this would happen I would never start using my power._

_Date january 20 1881._

_Anna has become someone else, her mind no longer what it used to be, I found her trying to cut herself with my razer the other day. She said she wishes to die, She has only moments of time when she is Anna but that lasts for no longer then a full minute. But during that minute she would tell me the same thing. I want to die, my love. I have lived long and happy with you, and I have protected you to the best of my abilities. But now it is time that you let me go. I love you my love. Then she would lose that moment of clarity and no longer be my Anna. It is so painful to see her going through this for me._

_My magic is so unbearable when I have not used it. Anna...My sweet Anna, How can I let this happen to you? I wish there was something to be done. I have caused this and I can not bear, Her wish maybe but no I can not lose her._

_Date January 25 1881_

_My Anna is no longer here. Today I found her in the bathroom. She had managed to cut her wrists so bad that the blood was everywhere. I couldnt save her. The world of the dead has claimed my love because of me. _

_If you are reading this then you are looking for information on a bond. My dear reader you are also looking for help that I can not offer. Anybody that is bound by a bond like this is dooomed but only the one bonded is doomed. Unfortunately we spirit users get to live without our bond mates and knowing this is painful._

_If you know of anyone that is bonded then please advise them not to become a guardian. They will not survive after the darkness has hit. The darkness controls there mind, it takes over everything that they used to be. They will lose everything about them._

_Treasure every moment you spend with them because they will not be forever._

_I am sorry that I could not offer any help but the bonded are lost to the world of the dead, they were taken away but they will always be sought after by the world that they should have never escaped from._

_Vladimir _

I looked around the room and all thier expressions were the same. shock, anger, disbelief. I looked over to Lissa who had tears running down her face and I could feel so much guilt coming from the bond.

" Liss, please dont feel guilty this is not your fault, you did not ask for this."

" Rose your losing your mind because of me. There has to be something I can do. I can try and stop using spirit would that help."

" Lissa you are my best friend and I love you so much, this is not your fault. you read the book, there is nothing you can do. All I want from any of you is to treat me as normal as you can and please dont try to look for a cure cause there is not one."

" Rose how can you be so calm?"

I looked over to Christian and smiled a sad smile at him.

" I have accepted my fate long ago when I told Lissa I wanted to be her guardian."

" But what now?"

" Now I am going to graduate and get my promise mark, then I am going to step down and live my life as best I can doing what I am meant to do. Protect Lissa even if it is from her self."

" But?"

" But nothing Lissa. This is my decision and this is what I want."

" Rose please there must be something we can do"

" There is, you can help me make this years annual karoake party the best this school has ever seen and I might even grace you all with a few songs from me."

" Okay we can do that."

I nodded my head at them stood up and went and hugged them all, then left to go to my room.

Christian's POV,

" Guys what are we going to do?"

" We are going to do nothing like Rose has asked us to."

" But Adrian."

" No she has asked us to abide by her wishes and that is what we are going to do."

I nodded my head at him and looked over to Lissa who looked to be taking this the hardest. I cant believe Rose has sacrificed her sanity for her friend, is there nothing she would go to, to protect Lissa. I was brought out of my thoughts by my phone ringing. I looked down and saw that it was my aunt. So I excused myself to go and answer it.

" Hey Aunt Tasha. How are you?"

" Christian you sound down are you okay?"

" No Im not. We just found out that because of the bond Rose and Lissa have Rose is gonna lose her mind. She just said goodbye to us all before she lost her memory to much."

" what? Thats terrible. What are you all going to do?"

" There is nothing we can do. She cant run away from this. She wants us to act normal and abide her wishes but she also wants us to make this years annual karoake party the best ever."

" Well I can help with that. How about me and Dimitri join you all?"

" That would be great thanks."

" Okay well I will see you soon."

" Okay bye."

I hung up and was going to go back to the room to speak with everyone but I couldnt stop thinking about Rose, through all this she is being brave and strong, but I want her to know that if she needs me I am always here for her.

I got to her room and heard some music being played, but what shocked me was her singing. Her voice has an amazing voice. She was singing, Because you loved me, By Celine Dion. And I know that because Lissa loves it. She always told me that Rose could sing but I never believed her.

For all those times you stood by me  
For all the truth that you made me see  
For all the joy you brought to my life  
For all the wrong that you made right  
For every dream you made come true  
For all the love I found in you  
I'll be forever thankful baby  
You're the one who held me up  
Never let me fall  
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly  
You touched my hand I could touch the sky  
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me  
You said no star was out of reach  
You stood by me and I stood tall  
I had your love I had it all  
I'm grateful for each day you gave me  
Maybe I don't know that much  
But I know this much is true  
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

You were always there for me  
The tender wind that carried me  
A light in the dark shining your love into my life  
You've been my inspiration  
Through the lies you were the truth  
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

She sung that with so much emotion that maybe she wanted someone to know how she felt about them.

I knocked on her door and she opened up.

" Hey Christian, what are you doing here?"

" Rose, I am worried about you."

" Dont be, I promise you I am fine."

" How can you be?"

" Because at least I still get to protect Lissa, even if its not from strigoi."

" Okay just know I am always here if you ever want to talk."

" Thanks Christian."

I hugged her then left.


	8. SO THE FIGHT STARTS

Chapter 8, Karoake Party.

Christian's POV,

Its been three days since Rose said goodbye to us all and so far we have treated her no different because the affects have not come out enough for us to notice a change in her.

Tonight is the Annual school Karoake night and Aunt Tasha and Gurdian Belikov were supposed to be coming to help us give Rose one hell of a night. Rose has been her usual self trying to be brave and smile no matter what she got going on in her own life.

Lissa has been a mess, she trys not using the magic but cant help it, she has to heal someone when she see's that they need it. She said not using it causes her so much pain that she has to use it. Rose told her to continue to use it and never stop she would always be taking away the darkness even if it got her sent away.

I was unlucky enough to see one of her episodes while she was in Stan's class I felt so sorry for her but couldnt do anything. We have all managed to keep this from Lissa as Rose asked us not to say anything to her.

I was in the hall with everyone else getting it ready for tonight, we were decorating it in a way we knew Rose would approve of. Red, red and more red.

I was hanging the streamers when I saw Rose running along the quad and she looked like she was crying. So I jumped down and ran right out the door to see if she was okay.

" Rose wait."

She looked round and sure enough she was crying but this was not just crying this was full on sobbing, so I ran over to her and pulled her into my arms.

" Rose Whats up?"

" I have to tell you something but you have to promise me that you wont tell anyone not even Lissa."

" Okay what is it?"

" Me and Guardian Belikov had a relationship."

I looked at her like she was crazy.

" Rose What are you saying?"

" I am in love with him and I know he loves me to. But I asked him to leave because I didnt want him to see me like this and see me the way I am going to be. Christian promise me that when I get so bad that you will keep Lissa away from me."

" Rose I cant come on this is Lissa she loves you."

" I know and thats why you have to do this for me. She can not see me like that. I wont be able to do this if I know she will see me lose it completely."

" Okay I promise."

" Thank you."

She hugged me then told me to go on my way she was going to have some time to her self. So I left her and went back into the hall where no one had noticed that I had left. I got back on with what I was doing and just thought about what she told me.

Adrian's POV,

I spent most of my time since Rose telling me just thinking. We all take life for granted and never think about doing something before its to late. Well I have to tell her how I feel about her. She needs to know because I have to get this off my chest.

I walk up to her door and knock. She answers on rather qucikly.

" Hey Adrian whats up?"

" Rose I need to talk to you."

" OKay come on in."

She ushered me in and told me to sit but I didnt I just needed to get this over with.

" Rose I have to tell you something. I love you, with everything I have in me, I always have done and always will do. I know nothing will ever happen between us and understand that I just had to tell you."

She looks at me with tears in her eyes.

" I know you do and I am sorry but I dont feel that way about you. You are my family Adrian and Im so glad I have you in my life."

I knew she would say this so I just nodded my head and smiled at her. She walked over to me grabbed my face and kissed me so softly on the lips. she then whispered against them.

" Adrian you are going to find someone that makes you feel so loved and special that you will forget what you ever felt for me and that is fine. Promise me you will move on and be happy because you deserve so much."

" I promise you I will."

She nodded her head and said she would meet me at the hall in twenty ready for tonight, so I left her.

Roses POV,

Okay come on girl get your brave face on you can do this. All you have to do is hold your head up high. Breath.

I was standing outside the hall waiting to go in, everyone now knows about the darkness that plagues me and is slowley eating away at my sanity. People are watching me more closely and being more careful around me. Like I was going to eat them or something.

I took a deep breath held my head high, opened the doors and walked in with my normal bravdo. That was until I spotted all my friends and sitting next to them was Dimitri and Tasha like my life could get any worse right now two people who I really didnt want to face but knew I had to.

I was still getting up on that stage going to sing my heart out before its to late. I want everyone to know that I can sing and that all my emoitions are tied to me and they exist in a song.

I walked right up to there table with Christian looking at me with worry in his eyes. I shock my head no I have to do this.

" Hello, Tasha, Dimitri, Guys."

They all said there hellos. Kirova got up on the stage and announced that I would be up first. So I walked onto the stage told them what I was singing and looked out to everyone.

" Okay guys this is a song for my friend Adrian, who is one of the best people I have ever met."

I nodded to them to let them know I was ready and the music started up.

For all those times you stood by me  
For all the truth that you made me see  
For all the joy you brought to my life  
For all the wrong that you made right  
For every dream you made come true  
For all the love I found in you  
I'll be forever thankful baby  
You're the one who held me up  
Never let me fall  
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly  
You touched my hand I could touch the sky  
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me  
You said no star was out of reach  
You stood by me and I stood tall  
I had your love I had it all  
I'm grateful for each day you gave me  
Maybe I don't know that much  
But I know this much is true  
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

You were always there for me  
The tender wind that carried me  
A light in the dark shining your love into my life  
You've been my inspiration  
Through the lies you were the truth  
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

Everyone clapped and cheered, they all looked shocked at me for actually being able to sing. I knew that none of them had actually heard me sing but it was kinda making me angry that they had no faith in me what so ever. I knew it was the darkness and I was trying to control it so I wouldnt have an outburst but it was so hard.

Thankfully Christian and Eddie saw what was happening and came up on stage grabbed me and took me outside for some air.

They didnt talk or make any movements just stood there looking out to nothing waiting for me, we had found out the hard way that this was the best way for me to deal with this.

When I felt myself calming down I nodded my head in thanks and we walked back into the hall. Nobody looked my way which was best. I looked up to the stage and saw Lissa and Mia singing stupid girls.

They finished as soon as I sat down.

Nobody wanted to go up so I went back up and dedicated this next song to the love of my life with him knowing who he is.

Watchin' every motion in my foolish lover's game On this endless ocean, finally lovers know no shame Turnin' every turn to some secret place inside Watchin' in slow motion as you turn around and say  
Take my breath awayTake my breath away  
Watchin', I keep waiting, still anticipating loveNever hesitatin' to become the fated onesTurnin' every turn to some secret place to hideWatchin' in slow motion as you turn to me and say, my love  
Take my breath away  
Through the hourglass I saw you, in time you slipped awayWhen the mirror crashed, I called you and turned to hear you sayIf only for today, I am unafraid  
Take my breath awayTake my breath away  
Watchin' every motion in this foolish lover's gameHaunted by the notion, somewhere there's a love in flamesTurnin' every turn to some secret place insideWatchin' in slow motion as you turn my way and say  
Take my breath awayMy love, take my breath awayMy love, take my breath awayMy loveMy love, take my breath away

They all cheered and smiled at me. I knew that my night was going to end sooner then everyone else but I didnt know how.

I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was coming this way, so I kept myself on high alert all night.

I decided on one more song.

Share my life, take me for what I am 'Cause I'll never change all my colors for you Take my love, I'll never ask for too much Just all that you are and everything that you do  
I don't really need to look very much furtherI don't want to have to go where you don't followI won't hold it back again, this passion insideI can't run from myself, there's nowhere to hide  
Don't make me close one more doorI don't wanna hurt anymoreStay in my arms if you dareOr must I imagine you thereDon't walk away from meI have nothing, nothing, nothingIf I don't have you, you, you, you, you  
You see through, right to the heart of meYou break down my walls with the strength of your loveI never knew love like I've known it with youWill a memory survive, one I can hold on to  
I don't really need to look very much furtherI don't want to have to go where you don't followI won't hold it back again, this passion insideI can't run from myself, there's nowhere to hideYour love I'll remember forever  
Oh, don't make me close one more doorI don't wanna hurt anymoreStay in my arms if you dareOr must I imagine you thereDon't walk away from meI have nothing, nothing, nothing  
Don't make me close one more doorI don't wanna hurt anymoreStay in my arms if you dareOr must I imagine you thereDon't walk away from me, noDon't walk away from me  
Don't you dare walk away from meI have nothing, nothing, nothingIf I don't have you, youIf I don't have you, oh you

There was more cheering and smiling. I nodded my thanks and went to walk off the stage when the nausea hit me with so much force that I doubled over. I looked up to see everyone on there feet looking at me, but that is not where my attention was. No mine was where the ghost of Mason was standing trying to tell me something.

" Rose be careful, there here." He then pointed to the window.

I followed his finger and saw them, there were so many there. The first thing I did was pull out my stake and shout.

" BURIA!"

All the guardians then jumped into action, telling all the Moroi to get into the secret room. I looked over to see Lissa safe then ran through the door and out into the field to kill as many as I can.

I had extra power with me today because the darkness was still strong inside me.

I saw Dimitri run out of the doors look for me smile and then shout my name. I spun round just in time to get a few scratches down my arm from the strigoi that was trying to get to me.

And so the fight starts.


	9. IS THIS THE END

Chapter 9,

Dimitri's POV,

We got to the caferteria and saw everyone waiting there they all looked like they had so much excitment on their faces. We went over to join Rose and her friends she didnt even look at me she just kept fake smiling at her friends and looking anywhere other then me.

kirova went up on stage and asked who was going to sing first nobody stood up so Rose did. She got up on stage and the music started playing. I didnt know she could sing so well.

For all those times you stood by me  
For all the truth that you made me see  
For all the joy you brought to my life  
For all the wrong that you made right  
For every dream you made come true  
For all the love I found in you  
I'll be forever thankful baby  
You're the one who held me up  
Never let me fall  
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly  
You touched my hand I could touch the sky  
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me  
You said no star was out of reach  
You stood by me and I stood tall  
I had your love I had it all  
I'm grateful for each day you gave me  
Maybe I don't know that much  
But I know this much is true  
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

You were always there for me  
The tender wind that carried me  
A light in the dark shining your love into my life  
You've been my inspiration  
Through the lies you were the truth  
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me

She has such an amazing voice and this song complimented her voice so much, I never expected her to be able to hit the high notes so well.

She looked up to us all clapping and cheering for her but I noticed her eyes change from there normal brown to a black, I knew what was happening the darkness was starting to take over, thankfully Christian and Eddie saw what was happening to and went and grabbed her took her off stage to calm her down.

She was back in no time, nobody wanted to go up so Rose opted to go up again she dedicated this next song to the love of her life but wouldnt say who that was but I knew it was me.

Watchin' every motion in my foolish lover's game On this endless ocean, finally lovers know no shame Turnin' every turn to some secret place inside Watchin' in slow motion as you turn around and say  
Take my breath awayTake my breath away  
Watchin', I keep waiting, still anticipating loveNever hesitatin' to become the fated onesTurnin' every turn to some secret place to hideWatchin' in slow motion as you turn to me and say, my love  
Take my breath away  
Through the hourglass I saw you, in time you slipped awayWhen the mirror crashed, I called you and turned to hear you sayIf only for today, I am unafraid  
Take my breath awayTake my breath away  
Watchin' every motion in this foolish lover's gameHaunted by the notion, somewhere there's a love in flamesTurnin' every turn to some secret place insideWatchin' in slow motion as you turn my way and say  
Take my breath awayMy love, take my breath awayMy love, take my breath awayMy loveMy love, take my breath away

She stayed on stage and continued to sing nobody wanted to stop her, I think everyone just wanted to enjoy her while she was stilll her.

Share my life, take me for what I am 'Cause I'll never change all my colors for you Take my love, I'll never ask for too much Just all that you are and everything that you do  
I don't really need to look very much furtherI don't want to have to go where you don't followI won't hold it back again, this passion insideI can't run from myself, there's nowhere to hide  
Don't make me close one more doorI don't wanna hurt anymoreStay in my arms if you dareOr must I imagine you thereDon't walk away from meI have nothing, nothing, nothingIf I don't have you, you, you, you, you  
You see through, right to the heart of meYou break down my walls with the strength of your loveI never knew love like I've known it with youWill a memory survive, one I can hold on to  
I don't really need to look very much furtherI don't want to have to go where you don't followI won't hold it back again, this passion insideI can't run from myself, there's nowhere to hideYour love I'll remember forever  
Oh, don't make me close one more doorI don't wanna hurt anymoreStay in my arms if you dareOr must I imagine you thereDon't walk away from meI have nothing, nothing, nothing  
Don't make me close one more doorI don't wanna hurt anymoreStay in my arms if you dareOr must I imagine you thereDon't walk away from me, noDon't walk away from me  
Don't you dare walk away from meI have nothing, nothing, nothingIf I don't have you, youIf I don't have you, oh you

Everyone clapped her and cheered.

She went to walk off stage but doubled over in what looked like pain, we all stood up and went to walk up to her when she lifted her head up and looked at something that was behind us. She then shouted the one word that nobody wanted to hear come out of any novices mouth.

" BURIA!"

All the guardians grabbed our stakes and told the Moroi's toget to the safe room. I saw Rose look over to make sure Lissa was safe then she ran out of the doors into the fight. I followed after her just in time to see her start kicking some strigoi ass. She looked over to me and smiled so I smiled back then saw a strigoi coming behind her trying to get her off guard so I shouted her name and she turned just in time. But I did see her get a few scratches before she started fighting back.

I ran in to join all the others that had started fighting. There was so many strigoi I dont think any of us could have predicted how many would attack us at the school. I saw all the guardians fighting but at the same time keep there eyes on Rose as well.

I decided that I would fight as close to her as I could. I was fighting four at a time. When I looked over to Rose I saw her fighting six at once. She was good but no guardian could take on six at once. I finished staking my four and started making my way over to her to help her, when the strigoi managed to over power her. Then something so strange happened. They grabbed her round the neck and held her there. Then they started talking.

" If you want her to stay alive then stop what you are doing."

" Why would they do that. Im just a novice you jack ass they dont need me."

" On the contrary young lady they do indeed need you. They need you to keep the princess save from the darkness that wants to consume her because of her spirit element."

" How the hell do you know about that?"

" We have one of your dear friends with us, Sonya step out from the shadows my dear."

Out of the dark, Sonya Karp stepped forward, she looked round and stopped on Rose.

" Hello again Rose it has been a long time."

Rose didnt answer she just looked away.

" Not going to answer I see. Okay well lets start off with what we want."

Rose just continued to look away.

" Very well I'll talk you just listen. I want the princess now."

" If you think Im going to let you take Lissa then you have another thing coming to you. No way in hell am I going to let you anywhere near her."

Then Roses eyes went bitch black and the strigoi that was holding her was on the floor with a stake through his heart. Nobody even saw her move, even the strigoi were shocked. She then jumped into the fight again staking as many as she could while we all stood there in shock just watching her.

" WELL ARE YOU ALL JUST GOING TO WATCH ME OR JUMP IN ANYTIME SOON?"

With that we snapped out of it and jumped back into the fight. The strgioi were coming fast and as we staked one another would come. I was so lost into the fight that I had lost track of Rose, that was until I heard her scream of pain. I stopped what I was doing and looked over to see her on the floor with a strigoi on her neck and a stake in her chest.

My vision clouded and all I saw was red, I ran over to her ripped the strigoi away and staked him. I looked around to see all the strigoi were dead, then I looked back over to Rose.

There was blood everywhere. I got on my knees and looked into her eyes. They were so dull.

" Roza can you hear me? Just hang on"

I looked over to the other guradians who by now had seen Rose and they were all standing there looking at us.

" One of you go and get Doctor Olenski now." Someone ran off. I felt a hand on my face and looked down to Rose.

" Hey comrade."

" Hey Roze I need you to stay with me okay."

" Dont worry its going to be okay. This is how its suppose to happen remember me in battle dying to save the moroi. Did I do you proud?"

" Roza of course you killed most of them."

She smiled at this and went to close her eyes, so I shock her.

" No Roza you have to keep your eyes open for me."

" So tired comrade...Ne...Need...to...sleep..now."

" No, No sleep stay awake."

Stan came over to help me.

" Dimitri maybe we should get the princess to heal her."

I was thinking along them lines when Rose inturrupted us.

" NO, I cant take no more darkness right now."

" OKay Rose. You need to stay awake."

" Dimitri remember I will always love you okay. I have never stopped."

" No Rose this is not goodbye."

" I love you comrade so much."

" I love you to Roza please stay with me."

By this time I had tears running down my face her eyes were closing but I couldnt let that happen So I did the one thing I could think of. I kissed her. She kissed back then stopped.

" Goodbye comrade Love you forever. But please move on and be happy. "

" I love you."

She then closed her eyes, and took her last breath. I just held her so close to me I couldnt let her go. Doctor Olenski turned up and asked me to hand her over I just shock my head. She then took her from me and tryed to revive her.

All I could do was look into her eyes and hold her hand.


	10. PROHECY

Chapter 10,

Lissa's POV,

We were all watching Rose on stage perform her songs she has been amazing tongiht, I think she has managed to shock everyone with how good at singing she really is and what an amazing voice she has.

She was getting ready to come off stage when she doubled over in pain, we stood up to go to her when she looked up and behind us at something, then she said something that I didnt understand until the guardians were rushing us into the secret Moroi room.

I looked around for Rose and saw her look at me then run out of the caferteria, I knew she was going to fight but I didnt want her to. She didnt need to go out there and fight tonight not with all she got going on. But she did anyway.

I was sitting next to Christian, Adrian and Mia in the corner of the room just waiting to see what would happen. When all of a sudden out of no where I felt this extreme pain in my chest. It was so bad that I couldnt help but scream out. Everyone looked around at me but I couldnt say anything this pain was just to extreme and it wasnt going away.

I looked to Christian who looked scared, then I saw nothing. But I knew this had something to do with Rose, I dont know how but I just knew.

One of the guardians guarding the door came over to me and asked if I was okay.

" Princess are you okay?"

" Its not me, its Rose. Please I have to get to Rose."

" Im sorry princess but there are strigoi on campus you have to stay here for your own safety."

" You dont understand if she dies so do I because I will not live in this world without my bond mate or my sister do you understand that?"

He went to answer but was cut off by the doors opening. Guardian Petrov came in with a somber look. She spotted me and came striaght over.

" Princess I need you and Lord Ivashkov to come with me please."

" Guardian petrov is it Rose?"

" How do you know?"

" I felt it. Is she okay?"

" I dont know princess, we need you and Lord Ivashkov to try and heal her."

" Okay what are we waiting for? Lets go."

With that we walked out of the door and to the infirmary. She lead us to a private room and took us in, what I saw I would never be prepared for. Rose was laying on the bed pale as anything with blood all over her and a gapping whole in her chest.

I knew what needed doing, I looked to Adrian who was looking at me. We both nodded to each other and went over to her body.

We placed our hands on her body and sent her healing. It was the strongest we could conjure up. We watched with fascination. Her body was healing, the whole was closed and her heart had starting pumping again. It was slow though.

We both went and sat down while the nurse got us a drink of water.

" Dr Olenski, is she going to be okay?"

" Right now princess I just dont know. She has out herself into a coma. Time will tell. But she is a fighter remember."

I nodded my head and just looked at her. Her body had been so battered how can she survive so much? She is the strongest person I know.

Guardian Petrov stepped into the room took one look nodded her head smiled then walked out.

Dimitri's POV,

I cant believe I am sat here waiting for news on whether the love of my life is going to be okay or not. I saw Alberta walking towards me, so I stood up.

" Dimitri, I just checked on her, she has put herself into a coma right now and only time will tell. But the Princess and Lord Ivashkov have managed to heal all her wonds now its down to Rose and how much she is willing to fight to stay alive. And you and I both know Rose is the strongest person we know and we are not going to get ride of her that easy. Trust in her she is going to be fine."

" Thank You Alberta. I am going to get changed then sit with her while everyone is sleeping okay. I just need to be with her. She was amazing out there she killed over 78 strigoi on her own, I have never seen anything like it."

" We have never had a novice like Rosemarie Hathaway."

I smiled at that and walked away to my dorm, to be on my own where I could think.

I had alot to think about. I need to arrange cover for myself because I couldnt go back to being Tasha's guradian, maybe just maybe there was a way I could save Rose from the darkness. I know what the stupid book said but Vladimir and Anna were not as in love as me and Rose.

My Grandmother said to me many years ago after one of her dreams, she told me that I would meet someone that would make me question myself and my beliefs but not only that she said I would meet someone and fall in love and have a love so pure and true nothing in this world or the next could brake it.

My grandmother has never been wrong, so we knew to listen to her. Maybe I need to phone her and ask if she has had anymore dreams about me.

I picked up my phone and dialed mothers number.

Someone answered on the second ring.

Добрый вечер вашей до Belikovs (Dobryy vecher vashey do) Good evening your through to.

" Privatt Mamma."

" Dimka? How are you?"

" Mamma I am not to good. Is babbushka there?"

" Of course Dimka what is it?"

" My student Rose, I fell in love with her mamma and she loves me back. But she got hurt tonight, there was an attack on the school she fought so hard, she killed over 78 strigoi. Its just like babbushka said. I really need to speak to her."

" Dimka I am so sorry here she is."

" Dimka. I know why you have called, yes I have had dreams about you and the goddess of the sun, I have seen all. Dimka you have to have faith in her, she will fight to be with you. I have said she is the goddess of the sun and soon you will find out why. That is all I can say to you. Please be careful and come see us soon. "

She then hung up on me. She was always one to be cryptic with her advice and dreams, she said she didnt want to interver with destiney she just wanted to advise as best she could.

Without her sometimes I would be lost. But with out Rose I could never exist in this world. She is my everything.

I knew she would fight because she wouldnt want to leave me or Lissa, And I knew she would want to kick more strigoi ass because of what happened to her.

I was bought out of my thoughts by my phone beeping telling me I had a message. So I opened the message to see it was from my grandmother, I dont know when the hell she started texting.

_Dimka, she will fight and succeed, she is the salvation of our people, she will save the Dhampir race and she will destroy all of the evil beings the Strigoi, she has the power just be patent my son. _

Okay be patent yeah I can do that as long as I get to see Rose I will wait by her bedside.


	11. FINDING THE TRUTH IN HIS EYES

**Chapter 11**

**Dimitri's POV**

It's been a week since Rose went into her coma, Doctor Olenski doesn't know what to make of it. She said that from what she can tell Rose has put herself into this coma so she can heal her mind a little. Well as much as she can heal her mind with the darkness that has already affected her. I have not left her side for the whole week.

Tasha has been none stop moaning at me but what can I do? I'm sorry but Rose is the love of my life and I will not leave her side just for Tasha.

I am sat by her bedside now holding her hand like I have been for the past week. Even Lissa, Adrian, Christian and Eddie have not left her side.

"Roza please you have to come back to me. We all need you. I can't live without you in my life. You are the only woman I have ever loved. "

I kissed her forehead and continued to watch her and wait. I would not leave her side until she was awake and asked it of me. I would not let her down again. Leaving her was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but living without her was...it made my life empty, I was always suppose to live with Rose and I was always suppose to protect her.

I was bought out of my thoughts by Doctor Olenski coming into the room.

"Hello Guardian Belikov."

"Doctor Olenski."

She came over to Rose checked everything, smiled at me then left the room. I took that as in she was doing better but didn't want to get my hopes up.

I was so focused on thinking that I didn't hear Lissa come into the room until she tapped me on the shoulder.

"Guardian Belikov. Have you been here since we bought Rose in?"

"Yes Princess I have."

"I have asked you to call me Lissa. Not Princess."

"I will if you call me Dimitri?"

"You have yourself a deal. How is she?"

"There is still no change but I know she is going to be okay. She is fighting to come back to us. I can feel it and I know she would never want to leave you. She will be back to us Lissa you just have to have faith in her."

"How can you have so much faith? Maybe I have damaged her to much with the darkness already."

"Lissa you have to have faith in Rose and nothing else. Rose will always come back to you. She is fighting everyday and always has been. You are her protected and she is the protector she will never leave your side even if the darkness does become too much for her to handle she will still be there fighting to protect you and to take the darkness away. There has never been anyone as special as Rose. She is the best novice any academy has ever seen. Don't lose faith now."

"Thank you Dimitri that means a lot to me."

"It...means...so much to me that you think that Comrade."

We heard her voice it was nothing above a whisper but we heard it we both looked down and saw her beautiful brown eyes open and looking at me.

I smiled at her and kissed her lips softly.

"Rose you almost left me that time. Please don't do that again."

"I'm sorry Comrade but you know me. I will always protect the Moroi and fight the strigoi."

She then looked over to Lissa who was crying her eyes out and smiled at her.

"Liss, it's okay. I'm okay. I'm here now, please don't cry."

With that Lissa threw herself at Rose and hugged her while sobbing.

"Rose don't you ever do that to me again."

"Liss you need to understand that as your guardian I am going to get into situations like this okay."

"Rose I can't lose you, I won't."

"You may not have a choice. You know what a guardian's life is like."

"Well then you won't be my guardian anymore."

"Maybe; maybe not. But we will all die sometime. That is life. You're young, you will find a new guardian, a new friend."

This didn't sound like Rose, I looked into her eyes and saw that far away look she gets when she is having a spirit moment. I took her face in my hands and made her look into my eyes.

"You listen to me Rose and you listen well. You will fight this do you understand me. I am here by your side until you order me away. I am not leaving you again. Fight it."

She looked deep into my eyes and for the first time I think she actually realized she was not going to go through this alone that I would always be there to support her.

After this she is not going to be able to get rid of me so easily. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I will not let anyone or anything ever come in-between us. She is mine and I am hers.

**Tasha's POV**

It's been a week since I last saw Dimitri he has been by that blood whore bedside waiting for her to wake up. What he doesn't realize is she is never going to wake up and if she does I will have her killed. How dare she take Dimitri away from me, he is mine. I have loved him since I was seventeen and nobody will ever take him away from me.

I will fight for him and destroy all who stand in my way. Rose is no different. She is the same as any other Dhampir, a blood whore. She does not deserve to be happy with my Dimka.

She should be sent away to Tarasov where she cannot hurt anyone when she finally loses her mind to Lissa's damn spirit darkness.

At least then she would be doing her job as a good guardian protecting her Moroi. Little do people know that it was me who arranged the attack on the school. I wanted them to kill her or take her. The arrangement was that they take her, torture her and then kill her for her body to be found six weeks after they take her.

That would be plenty of time for Lissa to realize she couldn't heal her and she was actually dead for good this time.

I want her to suffer the way I have suffered waiting for Dimitri. All this time I thought he was so dedicated to his job, and that was why he didn't tell me how he was feeling. But no, all along he has been seeing that blood whore. He says they are in love. Love? What does a stupid girl like Rose know about love?

Nothing that's what. She has never had to suffer through losing love ones. She has never had to watch the one person you love more than anything in this world do his job and be your friend and all the while you are pretending that you love him just like he is your best friend.

That stupid girl knows nothing of love or of heartache. But she will. Mark my words she will.

I was bought out of my mental babbling by my phone ringing. I looked down to the caller id and saw that it was Christian.

"Hello"

"Aunt Tasha. Have you heard?"

"Heard what?"

"Rose is awake."

WHAT? Plan B will be put into action straight away.

"Well that's good news. I'm glad."

"Okay well I just rang to let you know. I have to go now or I'm going to be late for class. See you at lunch"

"Of course."

With that he hung up the phone. I started pacing back and forth in my room thinking of a way to get rid of the little bitch for good.

She was really starting to become a thorn in my side. How dare she.

In the midst of my entire thinking one name popped into my head of who could help me with this little plan of mine.

Victor Dashkov.

Yes I would have to take a trip to Tarasov to see him and also work with his brother to get him out of there so we can both kill her together. You ask how I know he will help me. Because she is the reason he is there. If she didn't have that pathetic bond to Lissa, she would of never knew that he had taken her and where to find them.

So I am not the only one that wishes her dead.

**Rose's POV**

I came back to reality with a huge headache and I heard Lissa and Dimitri talking in the background.

"Lissa you have to have faith in Rose and nothing else. Rose will always come back to you. She is fighting everyday and always has been. You are her protected and she is the protector she will never leave your side even if the darkness does become too much for her to handle she will still be there fighting to protect you and to take the darkness away. There has never been anyone as special as Rose. She is the best novice any academy has ever seen. Don't lose faith now."

He really thinks that about me? Of course he was right I would never leave Lissa if I could help it.

"It...means...so much to me that you think that Comrade."

I had to tell him in the best way I could it was still really hard to talk but I needed them to know how thankful I am to have people like them in my life.

Dimitri looked at me and smiled, and then he softly placed his lips against mine. It was then I felt the shift in the air, when I knew deep down that I could fight this darkness with everything I had in me and I would win for as long as I could. I am not willing to go down without a fight.

And that is exactly what I plan to do. Fight every step of the way to stay with the people I love for as long as I can. I was bought out of my thoughts by Dimitri talking.

"Rose you almost left me that time. Please don't do that again."

"I'm sorry Comrade but you know me. I will always protect the Moroi and fight the strigoi."

I then looked over to Lissa who was crying her eyes out and smiled at her.

"Liss, it's okay. I'm okay. I'm here now please don't cry."

With that Lissa threw herself at me and hugged me while sobbing.

"Rose don't ever do that to me again."

"Liss you need to understand that as your guardian I am going to get into situations like this okay."

"Rose I can't lose you, I won't."

"You may not have a choice. You know what a guardian's life is like."

"Well then you won't be my guardian anymore."

"Maybe; maybe not. But we will all die sometime. That is life. Your young you will find a new guardian a new friend."

I knew this was babble due to the darkness but I couldn't help it. While I was out of it in my coma Lissa was here healing everybody who was injured which means she used way to much spirit. More than I can handle at this present time. I still stand by what I thought. I am going to fight but when she uses it like this it just bombards me and it gets difficult to handle at times.

I knew Dimitri could tell the difference. I just hoped he would let me deal with this the way I knew I had to. I can turn all this darkness into power and use it against the strigoi. That is was happened out there while I was fighting, I felt the darkness but instead of running away from it I used it against them and I won.

He took my face into his hands and made me look deep into his eyes.

"You listen to me Rose and you listen good. You will fight this do you understand me. I am here by your side until you order me away. I am not leaving you again. Fight it."

That is when I realized I would not be dealing with this on my own. He would always be there for me unless I asked him not to be.


	12. Important Revalations

**Chapter 12**

**Adrian's POV**

I knew Rose would be okay, she is a fighter and would always fight to protect Lisa. The only person who didn't look happy about Rose being okay is Tasha. I would have to watch her and tell someone if her Aura got to dark.

I knew she loved Dmitri and would do anything to get him to love her as well. What she didn't realize is that Rose and Dmitri are soul mates in the purest form. I haven't ever seen a love so strong before.

I know that I love Rose with all that I have in me but I also know it is not nor will it ever be enough to come between soul mates. I find that word stupid and not nearly enough to describe what they have but it's the only word I can think of.

Rose is my friend, my sister, my family, and I will do anything in my power to help keep her safe. Maybe I should go to Dmitri and tell him what I saw in Tasha's Aura or maybe I should just wait.  
Too many things have happened to her and I couldn't bear for anything more to.

I was bought out of my thoughts by a knocking on the door. I went over to answer it, and I was surprised to see Lisa. I thought she would be with Rose and not leave her side.

"Hey Lisa. What's up?

"Adrian, I'm here to ask if you want to come to the cafeteria with me and Christian to get something to eat."

"Yeah Okay that will be nice I'm, starving I feel like I haven't eaten in days."

"That's because you haven't eaten in days."

"Okay well let's go."

I followed her to the cafeteria. When we got to the cafeteria I saw Christian already at our table with Eddie, Mia and Tasha. I wasn't too pleased about sitting near Tasha but I saw it as an opportunity to do some more research on what colour her Aura would be.

I thought that it would be best to speak to Belikov about this as he could keep a closer eye on Rose now that the whole world knew about them. He needs to protect Rose because I can feel the darkness in her and its getting hard for her to control.

We ate our food in silence; it seems nobody wanted to talk about Rose right now. I knew she was awake but I haven't been to see her yet. Maybe I should go now so she knows I still here for her, loving her in the right way.

I got up and made my way to the infirmary; I asked the nurse if I could go see her she said it would be okay. I walked into the room to see her awake and just staring at nothing.

I went over and grabbed her hand.

"Hey Rose, How are you feeling?"

She looked at me and it seemed like she was looking right through me, I waved my hands in front of her face she seemed to blink back to reality.

"Adrian? When did you get here?"

"Have you not heard me? I said hey as soon as I walked into the room."

She had a look of pure confusion on her face.

"No I must not of heard you I'm sorry."

"It's okay. How are you feeling?"

"I'm not sure, I don't know how I feel right now. "

"What do you mean? How can you not know how you feel?"

I looked into her eyes and saw that there was some darkness still there, not only will she be suffering from the anger side of the darkness; she has everything to do with the darkness. Lisa is actually getting a free ride right now because she is not suffering.

I saw a look of pure confusion on her face and knew she was getting worse by the minute. Rose does not do confusion, she does investigation to work out why this is happening to her or she would do the impossible and find a way to cure this or some way she could handle it more.

"I don't know Adrian, one minute I was here looking out the window, the next I look up and you were there. I'm getting worse and I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to die and I don't want to be lost to the darkness that nobody can bring me back before I hurt someone."

"Hey you listen to me you are not alone in this do you understand me? I am going to be here every step of the way. You are not alone. We are all here for you."

I looked into her eyes and saw the sadness in them along with the pain of her knowing that no matter what she does she is always going to lose her mind. She has only one possible outcome left, and that is to die.

She is losing herself to it and it's not even going slow, this is happening so fast and nobody can stop this. Not even I can, all I could do was sit back and watch is happen. I could see her Aura and see when the darkness was hitting her. I could tell when she was the normal Rose and the one under the darkness.

I am going to miss her so much. I have to tell someone that this is going to happen a lot quicker then we all thought. The one promise I can keep though is about keeping Lisa away from her and even though it kills me to say put her into Tarasov before she hurts anyone. My friend Rose Hathaway is losing her mind and it scares the hell out of me.

"Hey I'm going to find Lisa okay and tell her to come see you I have got some stuff to do but I will be back in about an hour okay."

I kissed her forehead and left the room in search of Lisa and Dmitri, the two people who this is going to kill the most. I found Lisa sitting outside in the quad by herself so I went over to her.

"Hey Lisa you need to go see Rose she needs you right now okay."

She looked up to me and smiled softly at me.

"Okay I'll go now."

I left to go find Dmitri; I knew he wouldn't be too far from the infirmary he wouldn't want to stray because of Rose. I found him a little out of the perimeter doing his job, he saw me and didn't look to happy about me being here.

"Ivashkov? What are you doing here?"

"Calm down I'm not here for a throw down or to work out who is bigger and better we need to talk about Rose."

He looked into my eyes and saw that for once I was actually telling the truth. So he came over to me.

"Okay what is it?"

"Not here and not just us, we need a meeting with Alberta and Kirova not just you. Oh and we might as well call Rose's mum too she needs to know what's going on here. I think Rose is going to need her right now"

"What are you not telling me?"

"Look I know you love her and want to help. But right now you can't, right now we need to call a meeting and make everyone aware of what I know. But I can't tell you not right now I am not willing to talk about this more than once."

"Okay well lets' go and talk to Alberta and get her to call Kirova."

I nodded my head and we left. On our way to Alberta's office I could see him keep looking at me but I couldn't tell him what I knew not just yet. I need to tell them all at once so we can figure something out before it's too late. We have to help her or at least slow it down, but not only that she needs to know that none of us are going to leave we are all going to be here for her and love her.

We got to Albert's office and she called us. She looked surprised to see me there but what can you say.

"Dmitri? Lord Ivashkov what can I do for you both?"

Dmitri looked over to me and I knew that he wanted to talk but I couldn't let him so I beat him to it.

"Alberta I need you to get Kirova here and Rose's mum on the phone I have to tell you all something about Rose that you all need to know."

"Okay I'll do that now."

She rang Kirova first then Janine who was on speakerphone waiting with us for Kirova. I was staring off into space when she walked in the door sat down and looked straight to me.

"Okay I know you are all wondering why I called you here. Just let me finish what I have to say before any of you ask questions or cut me off."

They nodded to that so I started with what I wanted to say to them.

"Okay, I went to see Rose today. When I walked into the room she had this far away look, like she didn't even know where she was or who she was, I called to her and asked whether she was okay but I got no response. So I checked her Aura and what I saw scared the hell out of me. Her Aura had gone black no other colours like there normally is, but this was pure black. Something I have never seen before unless she is under the influence of darkness, but this wasn't darkness this was the crazy part of the spirit.

This is where it starts getting scary because there is no bringing her back from that part. When she did come back she asked me why I was there and I told her that I had been calling her and she never heard me. Look what I am trying to say is Rose is deteriorating quicker then we all thought she would. We need to do something and no I do not mean about her taking the darkness.

What I mean is we need to figure out whether she can graduate early and if so then we need to get that in motion. We have to face facts now before it's too late. Rose is never going to become Lissa's guardian she is going to be nobody's guardian.

We have to work together to make whatever time we have with the real Rose the happiest we can. She needs that. And she needs to know that we are all going to be there for her and not leave her to deal with this on her own."

I left it there for everyone to think about. I knew I didn't need to say anymore because they would all take this seriously and get something done rather quickly.

I was bought out of my thoughts by Kirova.

"Okay we have all thought about this and I believe what you are saying can be done okay. I will go through her record tomorrow and get her final grade from all her teachers. Alberta you deal with the combat side and guardian side. Dmitri you make sure Rose knows we are all here to support her and not going to leave her side no matter what. Lord Ivashkov, you make all her friends aware of this and keep watching her Aura let me know if it changes okay?"

"Okay I can do that."

"Good everyone lets' get this all done tomorrow please."

We nodded to that and left the office all of us going separate ways. On my way to my room I texted Lisa and asked her to get everyone in my room tonight for an update. She replied quickly and said she will be there with everyone at 7pm.

So that left me to go get a drink before this long conversation with everyone and trying to make Lisa aware of what Rose's wishes were. I so do not have the best job in the world tonight, but I am going to make sure that she respects Rose's choice because I will be damned if they all go against her take away her choices while she still has them.

God all I want is for her to be okay and for her to love me the way I love her but if I can't have her the way I want having her in my life is good. I love her as a friend and sister.

Rose I love you and I am going to make your wishes known to everyone.


	13. ATTACK OF DARKNESS

**Chapter 13,**

**Dimitri's POV,**

We had just finished our conversation with Adrian about how quickly Rose is losing herself, we all thought that it was going to be the darkness that drove her to the point of death but now we find out that she is dealing with everything side effect to darkness there is. Lissa is the one with the magic element yet Rose is the one dealing with the bad side to it.

Sometime I do hate the bond between them because of this. Rose has sacrificed so much for this world in such a short amount of time. She really doesnt deserve this. I walk into the infirmary to find Rose out of her bed and walking aimlessly around her room.

"Rose?" No answer.

"Rose? sweetheart."

I walk over to her and stand in front of her I block her path and look into her eyes. She looks at me but its like she cant see me. I grab her hand and pull her body to me in a hug so tight I never want to let her go.

I put my finger under her chin and lift her face up to mine. Her eyes seem so dull like there is no life left in them.

"Rose can you hear me? Come back to me Roza."

I lean down and slowly place my lips against hers, She is unresponsive for about five seconds then I feel her responding to me. I pull away from her and look into her eyes to seem them actually looking at me but she is confused.

"Dimitri? When did you get here?"

"Rose I've been here for about five minutes. You seemed out of it some I thought I'd kiss you."

"Wow thats twice that has happened today you know maybe I'm getting worse, Dimitri this is not good. I need to know that Lissa is going to be save once its to dangerous for me to be near her. Promise me you will always be by her side?"

"Rose I cant promise you that please dont ask me."

"You have to please?"

I looked into her eyes and saw nothing but confusion and fear. So I agreed.

"I promise you Roza the Princess is save with me."

She nodded her head and went to sit back on the bed. I knew she was feeling down because of the way she was sitting.

"Rose I came here for a reason."

She looked up to me.

"Yeah?"

"Doctor Olenski said you are free to leave the infirmary today,"

"Bout time."

"Come on get dressed and I'll take you to your surprise."

"What surprise?"

"Well if I told you it wouldnt be a surprise would it."

She nodded and went into the bathroom to get dressed. She came back out five minutes later ready to go. I went over and grabbed her hand and pulled her along with me. I pulled her out into the corridor and down towards the Morio dorms, Into the Moroi dorms and to Lissa's room where everyone was waiting.

I didnt say anything to Rose and she didnt ask where we were going. I knocked on the door and Lissa answered after about three minutes.

She looked at me then at Rose and moved aside. We entered the room to see everyone in there. Lissa was the first one to talk.

"Hey Rose."

"Hey Liss whats going on?"

"Oh well we are going to have a little party with us lot and a little game of truth or dare."

"Okay since when do you guys want to play truth or dare with me? you all think I cheat at this game, although there is no actual way of cheating at this game. Because lets face it there are actually no rules to this game. Hey Liss did you see the white rabbit in the trees?"

She had stopped her sentence about the game and gone on to something bizzare. We all looked at each other then over to Adrian who had been studying her aura. He saw us looking and nodded his head a bit to let us know this was spirit crazyness but to answer anyway,

"No I didnt."

"Shame you could of caught it and had yourself a pet. You always wanted a pet. Hey how about us all going into Missoula and going shopping at the weekend we can buy you a pet Liss, although it wont be the white rabbit which was pretty in its own way. Omg you guys Christmas is coming up we need to go shopping now"

We all knew what this was but were powerless to stop it so we just let her talk until she couldnt anymore. Shopping seemed like a good and bad idea, good because it would get Rose out and having fun. Bad because we couldnt be sure wheather we could control her is she had a burst of darkness. I so wanted to do something she would like.

We all knew she was getting worse by the second and we were constantly worried that we would all lose her before we were ready. So we wanted to spead as much time with her as we could.

"Roza are you ready to play?"

She looked at me like I had inturrpted her telling the biggest secret ever.

"Urm...Guys whats going on? why am I here?"

"You dont remember me bringing you here from the infirmary?"

"No I remember you kissing me, then me getting dressed then nothing,"

Wow did she tell them all that I had kissed her. Oh shit.

"Urm Roza you do realize what you just said right?"

She continued to look at me, then she turned to look at her friends then back to me. When she reached me again she looked at me with wide eyes and her mouth hanging open. I decided to be a big man and looked at everyone. They all expect Christian and Adrian had looks of shock. Oh shit time to spill the beans.

"Okay, you all want to know what she meant right?"

"Did you kiss her?" Lissa practially screamed at me. Rose looked to be in to much shock to do anything.

"Yea I did. Look me and Roza were in love. We havent told anyone other then who needs to know because we couldnt. our love its ilegal. And we couldnt at the time be together because we were both gonna be your guardians Lissa."

"But why did she never tell me?"

"Because she couldnt. Look thats all Im going to say on the matter. Rose is not in the right fram of mind for this conversation right now. I think she has gone into shock by letting the kiss slip out of her mouth."

We all looked to Rose and she is just standing there. So I went over and put my arm around her and pulled her close to me. I am not letting her out of my sight no way in hell. I am going to treasure every memory I can with her.

**Rose's POV,**

I knew that I was getting worse, I knew that it would only be a matter of time before everything came crashing down around me. I knew this but couldnt do anything to stop this. I was scared, I was worried about Lissa. I was angry that this was happening to me. I wanted to fight this stupid diesase with everything I have in me. But I was growing tired.

I was losing myself and things even little things were starting to make me angry. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, I wanted to cry and pound my fist into the floor. I wanted my life to go back to the way it used to be, Before the bond happened. I wanted the freedom I had when me and Lissa were in Portland.

There was so much I wanted out of life and so little time for me to achieve them. I wanted to be married to the man I love, I wanted my promise mark on my body, I wanted to lose my virgintiy to the man I loved. Dimitri is there for me, I can feel him even in my most crazy moments I can still feel him there supporting me giving me some strength.

I could feel Liss's guilt through the bond whenever she caught sight of me. And it only made me worse. I didnt want to feel that, I didnt want her to have to see me like this. I am the strong one in our friendship but now I have no strength to give. Its been two days since I came out of the infirmary and now everyone knows what is going on with me.

Everyone is keeping there eye on me, and it bugs the hell out of me. I try to ignore there stares and the whispers but sometimes its just so hard to do. Like now right now I am in Stan's class and everyone is supposed to be listening to him talk but they are all looking at me like I am going to damn well do a magic show.

I could feel Lissa through the bond in her room with Adrian once again working on there spirit magic seeing what else they can do with it. Lissa was getting frustrated because she still couldnt dream walk, she was slowly getting angryer and angryer until I couldnt take it anymore. I took it all of it into me and there was such much. It make me gasp and visibly shake.

This darkness was so strong that holding at bay seemed so hard. I was sucked into Lissa's head because her frustration was so much I couldnt stop it.

I was watching her watch Adrian until she felt the darkness leave her body. She sucked in a breath which made him look at her.

"Liss? You okay?"

"Adrian, the darkness Rose just took it."

I pulled myself out of her head and tried to take deep breaths to help, but with all the people staring at me nothing was working it was making me worse. So I franticaly searched the room for Dimitri. I found him in the corner looking all stoic and poise.

I caught his eyes and he knew what was happening. I was fighting this so damn much, until all it took was for someone to look my way and start laughing. I jumped out of my seat and went to walk towards them, when Dimitri caught me round the waist and was dragging me out of the room.

I was kicking and screaming for him to let me go I needed to punch someone anyone to let this go, But he wasnt letting me go. He kept whispering in my ear that I needed to fight this, this wasnt me. He had faith in me. But not this time, this darkness was to strong and it wanted my sanity and it was doing everything it could to win.

I was still fighting him even when he had got me out of the classroom and into the gym, but thats when it hit me full force.

It was like a tideal wave of dark crazyness coming from Lissa's head, hitting me anywhere and everywhere. I screamed so loud it hurt my own ears, then I fell to my knees holding my head in my hands. The pain just got worse, I started trying to claw my own head trying to make it go away. I felt the blood in my hair but was powerless to stop myself.

I felt someone trying to pry my hands out of my hair, and whispering in my ear telling me it was okay they had me, they were there for me. I couldnt place this voice right now, all I could do was continue to claw at myself.

It seemed to last for hours but finally the pain was going or maybe I was losing conciousness either way I was letting this win.

I needed this dark abyss of sleep to take me, there was no fighting this. I knew this was the start of the end of my life. I knew after this there was not going to be a Guardian Hathaway junoir, I knew I was never going to be Lissa's guardian, and I knew that either I killed myself or the darkness would.

I knew this was my life! The saying repeating it self in my head ""_They come first""_ Does that mean before my own sanity to?

**Dimitri's POV,**

I was in Stan's class watching Rose just to keep an eye on her, it was like the big pink sparkly elephant in the room, we all knew it was there but none of us wanting to face up to it or even admit what was going on.

we all knew she was getting worse, but we didnt want to admit it to ourselves. We all knew she had one opition in life, one destination to her journey. But none of us willing or accepting of the truth. I was survaying the rest of the class noticing how they were all looking at her like she was some kind of science freak, whispering things that just werent even true.

Rose was doing a good job at ignoring them until she caught my eyes. And what I saw when I looked into hers scared the hell out of me. Her eyes were black there was no white left in them, but I knew she was fighting thats why she looked at me silently begging me for a way to help her out of here.

So I silently made my way over to her, I was going to take her to the gym and make her work through all this, but just as I got close enough someone openly stared at her and laughed, she lost it. She went to leap over to them but I caught her round the waist and dragged her out of the room, kicking and screaming for me to let her go so she could hurt him.

I got her to the gym still fighting me. But she lost it once I let her go she screamed so loud, it hurt my ears, I looked at her and she looked to be in some kind of pain, she then fell to her knee's clawing at her head, I saw the blood from where I was.

I rushed over to her and was trying to pry her hands away from her head, with no success, it seemed we were theren for hours when the screaming was calming down I looked at her and saw her eyes were back to the brown that I loved so much, I softly called to her.

"Roza? Can you hear me?"

She looked at me with a soft smile

"Hey Comrade thank you for staying with me. I think Im going to sleep now."

Then she passed out. I put my hand to her cheek and moved her hair out of her face, When I moved my hand away I saw the blood.

I picked her up and carried her to the infirmary. Doctor Olenski checked her, bathed her wounds then gave her a sedative to keep her sleeping. I left her there to go and find Alberta and Kirova to tell them what happened.


	14. HAS SHE STOPPED FIGHTING

**Chapter 14,**

**Rose's POV,**

I slowly woke up and felt the soreness across my head, I lay there thinking over what had happened. And how I had finally realized that I was never going to be a guardian, I was never going to be able to graduate things were progressing faster then anyone expected. I couldnt hold on to my sanity much longer. I felt it eating away at my brain, eating away at everything I once wanted.

I looked over to the side of my bed and saw Dimitri asleep in the chair, it looked like he had been here all night. How can I do this to him? I cant put him through anymore of this, this darkness was only going to get worse, I knew the time was coming when I would enter into the darkness and not come out.

I didnt was him to see me like that, yesterday was bad enough, How could Lissa still be using spirit like she was? I didnt mind her using it to heal someone but her using it everyday to practice something that she was never actually going to beable to do was just plain selfish. I was beginning to get angry at her for this, this was all her fault she bought be back she gave me this damn bond she gives me the darkness yet she couldnt even give me a damn days break.

Okay calm down you can not have another episode not now, calm breath. I could tell myself this all day everyday but it never helped it made it worse. I needed to speak to her or maybe bash her head against a damn bick wall.

I took a deep steading breath and looked back over to Dimitri. I had to let him go, I had to let them all. It was time to hide away where I could hurt nobody.

"Dimitri? Wake up"

His eyes fluttered open, he looked at me and smiled softly he leaned forward so his head was on the bed.

"Hey How are you feeling?"

"Like I got run over by a train."

He chuckled at that.

"Roza you had me worried. What was that yesterday in the gym?"

I didnt know how to tell him that, that was just the start of the end for me. I couldnt tell him that so I tried to simplfie it.

"That was the darkness, it felt like it was attacking my head, Lissa is still using it everyday and yesterday just pushed me over the edge. I couldnt handle it. It was like a thousdand knifes going into my brain all at once."

"Oh Rose. Im sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"I dont like to see you in pain."

"Dimitri this is not your fault so please dont blame yourself. This is just the beginning of the end for me. This is only going to get worse that yesterday was just the tipping of the ice burge."

"I'm going to be here for you every step of the way okay"

I looked at him and saw that he was being honest with me. I nodded my head at him not in the mood to discuss anything right now.

We just sat there looking into each others eyes when the door burst open to reavel Lissa.

Just seeing her looking so perfect made me angry, while I am here lying in a damn hospital bed because of her she is our doing god knows what with her damn boyfriend who she doest even deserve. Do you think she realizes how lucky she is to be able to have a relationship in public. She is suppose to be my best friend my sister but all she has done is worry about herself.

She came running over to me hugging me crying. All I could do was look at Dimitri to make sure I wouldnt lose it just yet. I knew he could see the darkness beginning to form in my eyes.

"Rose I'm so glad your alright. When they told me what happened I was so worried, I came here as soon as I could. Had to leave Chrstian in bed but its okay."

Really she was worried about Christian.

I pushed her away from me until she fell on the floor, she looked at me shocked and was going to say something but I cut her off.

I stood up and looked down at her.

"Dont even think of opening the damn mouth of yours princess, this is all your fault you know that? I felt you using darkness yesterday, do you know how much pain you put me through? The pain was that bad I clawed at my own head to ease it. Damn it"

She just looked at me. I knew I was on the verge of losing all sanity right now and this was the last bit of the real me anyone was going to see. So I looked over to to Dimitri and looked into his eyes.

"I love you Dimitri Belikov with all my heart and soul, please dont ever forget that."

"Rose what are you saying?"

"Dimitri you need to get Lissa out of here and call Doctor Olenski Im not sure how much longer I can hold this off please"

With that he picked Lissa up and ran out of the door. I stood there looking out of the window, when I felt it the moment the crazy darkness took hold of me, and I was going to have to fight tooth and nail to win this battle. I could feel my body shaking with so much anger and hatred.

I wanted to fight this, I wanted to be able to open my eyes and be the person I have always been. But I couldnt because this was unbelieveably hard, this was like opening a flood gate or having a damn break and your house and town gets flooded, this is my head being flooded with darkness, crazy darkness.

I wanted to punch, kick, scream, bite, but I couldnt do any of those things. I went over to the bathroom mirror and looked into it to see my eyes and gone black completely no white left in them, I could see the claw marks on my head from yesterday and that seemed to make me worse.

I walked away from the bathroom and stood in the middle of the floor taking deep breaths it wasnt working my body continued to shake uncontrolabley, my vision became blurry, I felt the tears running down my face, my hands were bulled up into fists wanting to punch what ever came first.

Nobody came into my room so the wall was the closest thing to punch, it didnt work I punched it so hard I heard my knuckles break and the skin over them burst open but I felt no pain. I punched again, this time with both fists, then again, and again. It seemed pointless punching this wall because I could see the blood and heard the bones breaking but I still felt nothing.

So I walked over to the window I still felt nothing. I continued to punch the window until I couldnt punch it anymore. I had grew tired. My body couldnt handle the strain of the darkness. I wanted to curl up and sleep or die right here. I looked to the floor to see the perfect piece of glass for my wrists, I picked it up and looked at it for 4.2 seconds before throwing it through the window and onto the ground. I would not even in this state end my life. Not now I knew there was still people that needed me. I had to be here for them. There was still people I had to say goodbye to,

I must of been in this room on my own for about 48 hours before anyone came in. And that person was Dimitri. He saw the room, looked at me then my hands. He looked shocked for a moment. He went to walk towards me but I shock my head, I wasnt ready to have anyone touch me yet.

"Dimitri you were suppose to get Doctor Olenski to give me a sedative. What happened?"

"I'm sorry Roza the Princess was in bit of a mess when we left here and I couldnt find anyone to watch her for me. So I had to stay with her."

Crazy Russian say what? He had to stay with the bitch that was doing this to me? He had to stay by herside and leave me when he promised me he would always be there for me. How the fuck can he do this I asked him for one thing and he has to do the oposite. The darkness was still there eating away at me wanting me to get angry, wanting me to continue punching something anything until there was nothing of me left to do any punching.

"YOU had to stay with her? The person that is causing all this? I thought you were going to be there for me? How can I trust you when the one thing I ask of you, you dont do? I needed you in this moment Dimitri more then I have ever needed anyone in my life. This time its taken hold and its not letting do. I cant win this fight there is nothing left in me. Which is why I asked you for Doctor Olenski."

"Rose Im sorry but they come first remeber?"

Thats it all the calm I had tried to get was gone, nothing was left how dare he say that to me.

"GET OUT"

He looked at me for a second before coming to stand in front of me, He put his finger under my chin and lifted my head to look into his eyes.

"Roza Im sorry."

"NO. I cant do this Dimitri you let me down I cant have people like that not now. You need to leave me right now. I cant get past this darkness its to strong please just go because I dont want to hurt you."

He kissed me then left.

They come first, thats all Ive heard all my life I knew that more then anyone. I wouldnt be losing my sanity if I didnt. My time is running out and all he can do is remind me of the one thing that can make me angry. They come first who came up with that anyway?

We all matter just as much as the next person.

Dimitri's POV,

I think I said the wrong thing, My brain really didnt tell my mouth to say that, She needs me and all I can do is remind her of they come first. what is wrong with me.

I could see in her eyes the darkness, she was fighting so damn hard all the time and the one thing she asks of me I didnt do. And now look at her. Her hands are a mess, they both are broken and covered in blood. She asked me to leave so I did. But I got Doctor Olenski to go in and look at her hands.

We are losing her to fast I havent had enough time with her yet.


	15. ADMITING DEFEAT

**Chapter 15,**

**Rose's POV,**

I knew what I had to do now, I knew my time was running out and nothing could stop the darkness from taking me completely. I had, had to many episodes. I didnt want anyone to witness anymore of them. I was still in the infirmary, healing from the last dose of darkness. Doctor Olenski came in shortly after Dimitri left to look at my hands.

She banaged them up and stitched them, but we both knew it was going to happen again. Everyone knew by now, that Rose Hathaway was losing her mind to save her best friend. Everyone other then my friends stayed away from me.

I was sitting on a chair in the corner of my small peace of heaven, infirmary room. Just looking out of the window. I was thinking about eveything that I wouldnt get to do, everything that I wanted to experience but never would. This was destroying who I was.

I was sucked out of my thoughts and head and into Lissa's, she was once again in her room practicing spirit. Only she wasnt with Adrian, she was on her own. She was trying to dream walk Christian, but was having no luck, She was slowly getting frustrated with herself. Saying things like, she's not good enough, nobody will ever want her, I knew this was the darkness. I could feel it in her mind. There was so much.

How can one person hold so much darkness in them, I had taken so much already. Its like she was using this on perpose to get me to lose my sanity quicker then it already was. I heard in her mind that she thought I was better at everything. She would never compare to me. I didnt understand why she would want to be anything like me. Her life was so much more then what she was living at this time.

I ignored all her thoughts and did what I always do. I took the darkness from her, I didnt even need to pull it from her now, it just automaticaly went into me. I knew when I had got all of it from her because I could feel her worry for me through the bond.

But the darkness didnt seem to want me to hear that, because all I could hear was that she was using spirit again with no thought to what she is putting me through. I was getting angry, and I couldnt stop this time. It took over my body so quick. I was shaking with rage, I suddenly stood up and started pacing around my room taking deep calming breaths but it wasnt helping because everytime I moved my hands would hurt me, Or I would look into the mirror and see the claw marks on my head.

No this darkness was not leaving me, I dont think even Dimitri could help me out of this. Thinking of Dimitri made me angry. It made me flash to what he said last night, They come first. I had to stay with her. She needed me.

I started screaming, and punching anything and everything in sight. I punched and kicked so hard that I knew I would have brusing tomorrow. I then punched the mirror and watched my hand explode in blood. I watched it trickle down my arm, I then moved over to the window punching and kicking, I watched with a sick fasination as my bones broke and my skin split with the force I was using.

I picked up the chair and threw it at the door, I could hear people shouting at me to calm down, and come back. But I couldnt this time she had pushed me to far. I looked to the floor and saw what I was looking for the perfect piece of glass. I picked it up and ran it along my arm. I then pushed it deep into my wrists. I heard someone screaming at me to drop it and stop but I couldnt.

I then plunged the piece of glass into my stomach. I fell to the floor, in pain and satisfaction. I had done it this is what everyone wanted of me.

I felt someone picking up my hand and holding it. I could finally hear people talking and put names to the voices.

I heard Dimitri he seemed so close to me. I turned my head to the side and saw he was the one holding my hand. I looked into his eyes and saw love, fear, worry and something else.

"Roza can you hear me?"

"Di...Dimitri?"

"Roza stay with me."

I could feel my eyes starting to close. I was so tired but I had to tell Dimitri I loved him, so I focred my eyes open and looked into his.

"Dimitri I love you, so much please remember that always. Move on with your life. find someone that you can love without guilt or problems. Have a family. But remember I will always love you."

"I love you Roza with all my heart."

My eyes were closing and I couldnt stop them this time. I welcomed the darkness.

**Dimitri's POV,**

I was on my way to see Rose. I left her yesterday because she had asked it of me, I didnt want to leave her but I would do anything for her. I rounded the corner of the infirmary when I heard shouting. I ran to the door and threw it open to see them standing at the door to Rose's room shouting and screaming at her to calm down.

I pushed through them and took in the scene in front of me. Rose had distroyed her room, the window was smashed, the mirrior was gone, the chair was gone. There was blood everywhere and Rose was in the middle of it clawing at her head again. I moved forward to help her when she beant down to pick something up from the floor.

I looked to see what it was, and when I did I froze in my spot. She had picked a jagged piece of glass up, she was running it along her arms. I thought she was just taunting us, until she pushed it in her wrists. And thats when my screaming started.

" . PLEASE STOP. YOU CAN FIGHT "

But she didnt appear to beable to hear me. I thought we had seen the worse of it until she plunged it into her stomach. She looked up and I saw her eyes black, DARKNESS. This was all darkness it had taken hold and she couldnt fight it this time, and I wasnt hear to help her because I was with Lissa once again. I saw her drop to the floor and thats what broke me out of my haze. I ran to her side and grabbed her hand.

I was speaking to her but she still couldnt hear me. So I picked up her hand and held it so tight in mine. I called her name one more time and this time she looked at me, and I saw that she was back to herself.

Roza can you hear me?"

"Di...Dimitri?"

I saw that her eyes were closing, so I shock her softly.

"Roza stay with me."

I could see her fighting to stay awake. She finally forced her eyes open.

"Dimitri I love you, so much please remember that always. Move on with your life. find someone that you can love without guilt or problems. Have a family. But remember I will always love you."

Problems? What was she talking about? Find someone else? There was no one else for me she is the one I love and will alawys love. I would never be able to spend my life with anyone.

"I love you Roza with all my heart."

I stroked her cheek some more, when I saw her eyes close. I knew she was still breathing because I could hear it. I felt her heart beating softly.

Doctor Olenski, came running in she told me to pick her up and place her on the bed. She then told everyone else to leave expect me, she knew I would not leave. I stayed by herside just staring at her face. I couldnt look away from her.

I knew that this was nothing compared to what could happen with darkness, This is just the beginning and that scared me. I didnt want to lose her not like this. Not to something like this, Lissa was the cause of this and I had stayed with her yesterday when my Roza needed me. What was I thinking.

I wonder what caused this last burst of darkness, I decided to go and find Lissa, and have a talk with her. I left Roza after placing a soft kiss to her forehead and left to find the princess.

I found Lissa with Adrian, Christan, Eddie, and Mia in Lissa's room. I walked in and shut the door. They all looked up to me with surprise then shock. I looked down at myself and saw that I had blood on my clothes. I didnt even bother to think about that.

I looked to Lissa, and started talking.

"Where you practicing spirit today?"

"Urm yes why?"

"Because Rose had another burst of darkness today, she slit her wrists and stabbed her self in the stomach, So even though you know about this whole mess she is dealing with. You just dont care enough to try and help her with it."

She looked shocked, while everyone else looked horrorfied. Adrian was the first to speak.

"Is she okay?"

"Right now, I dont know. Doctor Olenski, removed the glass and stitched her up, then gave her a blood transfusion. Its touch and go right now. If she makes it to morning then she will be fine."

He nodded his head to that, then looked to Lissa who was in the corner of the room. Christian was the one to speak.

"Lissa? What the hell is wrong with you? We told you not to practice. you promised us you wouldnt use it right now."

"I cant stop okay. I have to use it. Its apart of me, its what Im suppose to do. Its what she is suppose to do, she is my guardian she is suppose to put me first."

That had everyone losing it but the one person who got to her was Mia.

"Not by losing her own sanity she isnt. Do you realize what your doing to her? YOU are killing her."

"I DONT CARE. Everyone thinks she is so much better then me maybe now you will all realize she is nothing but the dirt I wipe of my shoe. She doesnt deserve friends, or me, she lied to me about her and Dimitri, she doesnt deserve him, he should be with Tasha."

Crazy spirit user say what now? Tasha? Where the hell did that come from?

"What the hell? Lissa, Tasha? I dont love Tasha. I never have and I never will."

"Yeah well maybe you should, she loves you."

We all looked at her like she was crazy, we heard Adrian suck in a deep breath and turned to him with a questioning glance.

"She is under compulsion. Strong compulsion."

We all looked at her wondering how someone can do that when Christian stepped up to her to look at her.

"The ring!"

"What ring?"

He looked at me then answered.

"The ring Tasha gave me to give to Lissa. It must be whats doing all this, Tasha hasnt been close enough to use compulsion nither has anyone else thats all I can think of."

"Well we need to get the ring off of her and now."

We moved over to her and I grabbed her arms not hard enough to hurt or anything just enough to hold her still. Christian took the ring from her and gave it to Adrian, who held it close then nodded his head.

"Yeah this is it."

We then looked to Lissa who looked confused for a moment then shocked, then she started crying.

"OMG what did I do?"

"Lissa it wasnt you it was Tasha."

I never thought in all my years that my friend would do something like this. And I knew why she was doing it, she was doing it to get rid of Rose because she thought if she did that then she would have me. Not a chance in hell.

I walked out of Lissa's room and went back to Rose's side. She still looked pale, but not as bad as she did when I left her. What the hell is going on? Why does Rose have to go through this, its not far she does everything to make everyone else happy and fight to protect others yet she is destioned to die crazy.

I was bought out of my thoughts by a soft voice.

"Hey Comrade, you stayed."

I looked down at her and smiled softly before placing my lips on hers.

"Of course, I stayed. Rose I love you more then anything in this world. Where else would I be?"

"I love you Dimitri."

"Roza sweetheart. What happened?"

I looked and saw that she was hesitating to answer me. But she did in the end.

"Lissa, was using spirit and I couldnt control it, this time it was so strong. I couldnt help but be angry at everyone. Then I was angry at Lissa and glad she wasnt here. Dimitri I wanted to hurt her. I had to stop it, doing what I did seemed the only way. I dont want to suffer anymore. Im tired Dimitri."

I grabbed her face in my hands and looked into her eyes seeing for the first time her tears that seemed to never end,

"Oh my sweet Roza. Dont give up, not yet. Please Fight Rose, for me, for us. Fight this please I cant lose you yet. I'll take you away if you think that will help but please fight this."

"I love you with all my heart, there will never be anyone for me Dimitri you have been my light in the darkness for so long, but this scared me, there was a voice in my head telling me no one loved me, no one wanted me. Everyone would be better off without me. And you know what I believe that voice for a while. Dimitri I love you, and would do anything for you but Im tired. I dont want to fight anymore."

I saw the truth of that in her eyes, they seemed so dull and void of life. I want to hold her and never let her go.

"Rose what are you saying?"

She looked into my eyes, with a small sad smile on her face and defeat in her eyes.

"Im saying its time to say goodbye to everyone, its time I went to Tarasov."

And those words broke my heart.


	16. TAKING CONTROL

**Previously on No please dont.**

"I love you with all my heart, there will never be anyone for me Dimitri you have been my light in the darkness for so long, but this scared me, there was a voice in my head telling me no one loved me, no one wanted me. Everyone would be better off without me. And you know what I believe that voice for a while. Dimitri I love you, and would do anything for you but Im tired. I dont want to fight anymore."

I saw the truth of that in her eyes, they seemed so dull and void of life. I want to hold her and never let her go.

"Rose what are you saying?"

She looked into my eyes, with a small sad smile on her face and defeat in her eyes.

"Im saying its time to say goodbye to everyone, its time I went to Tarasov."

And those words broke my heart.

**Chapter 16,**

**Dimitri's POV,**

I looked into Rose's eyes for a long time after she said that. Its time I went to Tarasov, six words I never wanted to hear out of her mouth. I knew that this burst of darkness scared her, it scared me to. I knew she also felt like she was losing control.

"Roza please you can fight this and I will help you. Please not yet. I cant lose you not yet."

I saw the tears pouring down her face which in turn trickered my tears. I cant lose her not now, not ever,

"Dimitri I love you but this is whats right. People are in danger with me here, Im in danger with me here. I cant take anymore, Im losing myself and I cant fight it. There is nothing left in me to fight. I dont want to say goodbye to you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I cant. I am losing myself each and every minute and theres no coming back from this."

I was scared because I knew no matter what I said it wouldnt be enough to keep her here. She wanted to go to protect those around her. She wanted to go because she couldnt fight anymore and she didnt want us to see her at her worse. I could understand all the reasons why she wanted to go. But it didnt make it any less hard saying goodbye to her.

"Okay Rose if this is what you have decided then I will support you. What do you want me to do?"

She put her hand on my cheek and I leaned into her warmth.

"Can you get Kirova and Alberta here please so I can tell them what I want. Then find my friends please, I want to say goodbye to them. I want to be out of here tomorrow at the lastest."

Tomorrow? Tomorrow I would say goodbye to the love of my life, I would see her again sure I would visit her but it wouldnt be the same. Rose has sacrificed so much for the sake of others, she has done everything in her power to protect Lissa. And now she is doing the most honest and honorable thing she can. She is choosing to go out now, of her own free will rather then them coming for her.

"Okay, I'll go now and sort everything out for you okay."

She nodded her head and removed her hand from my face. I left the room and went straight to Kirova's office. I didnt even knock I just walked right in. She looked up from her paperwork and was surprised to see me.

"Guradian Belikov what can I do for you?"

"Rose has requested a meeting with you and Alberta. She asked me to come and get you. She needs to see you both in the infirmary now."

"Okay I will meet you there. You go and find Alberta."

I left then to find Alberta who I found in her office. I relayed the message and we left straight away. I told them that I had something else to do and left them in search of Rose's friends. Who I found all sitting out on the ground by the fountain.

Lissa was the first to spot me.

"Guardian Belikov is Rose okay?"

"Lissa. She is awake, She wants to see you all in her room in twenty minutes can you all be there?"

They nodded there heads and I left to go back to Rose. I couldnt be away from her for to long knowing she wouldnt be here much longer. I needed to spend as much time with her as I could.

"Rose. your friends will be here in twenty."

"Thank you comrade. Will you stay with me while there here? I need you to keep me grounded."

"Of course wild horses couldnt keep me away from you. I need to be with you as much as I can."

I walked over to her bed and grabbed her hand. I just held it close to my cheek remembering her warmth. We just looked into each others eyes, saying nothing. There was nothing to say, we knew each other well enough to know what they were thinking. And we were saying goodbye in our way with our eyes. We were inturrapted twenty minutes later by her friends walking in. I didnt move, didnt acknowledge them I just stayed holding her hand and looking into her eyes.

"Rose? Dimitri said you wanted us?" Lissa said.

Rose didnt move, she looked into my eyes.

"Yes, Guys its time to say goodbye."

All I heard was gasps all around the room, then crying. Christian was the first to speak.

"Rose what are you talking about?"

At this she turned away from me and looked at each of her friends. She smiled softly at them.

"Guys today the darkness got to bad, I hurt myself. What if that had been someone else? I couldnt live with myself. So I have told Kirova that I am ready to go to Tarasov. I am leaving in the morning."

I get the rest of the night to say goodbye to her, then she is gone.

"Rose are you sure?"

"Adrian, look at my Aura, what do you see?"

We all turned to Adrian who was concentrating so hard. He then looked at Rose with a sad smile.

"I see nothing but darkness, there is nothing of your Aura left."

"Exactly. So now its time for me to go. I cant hurt anyone there and I cant hurt myself. This is it for us, I love each and everyone of you, you are all my family. But this is the end of the line for us."

"What do you mean? End of the line? We can still see you in Tarasov."

I already knew the answer to this, She wouldnt let anyone see her in a place like that. While she is still sane enough to do it she would of requested no visitors.

"No you wont I have asked that they only allow one visitor to see my while I am there. And Im sorry guys but its not any of you. I love you all you all mean the world to me, But I cant let any of you come into a place like that and see me there. Im sorry."

"Who is it?"

She looked at me and smiled at me.

"I have asked that Dimitri be the only one allowed in."

"What about me Rose? I am your sister."

She looked over to Lissa and smiled sadly to her.

"Liss, Im sorry but I cant be around you, its killing me now to be in the same room as you. I can feel the darkness pulsing inside my head. Wanting me to hurt you. It blames you, your the reason Im like this. If you were to come there and see me at my worse. I couldnt control my actions. Lissa I am not blaming you but the darknes does. And its getting stronger which is making it harder to fight. This is for the best."

"The best for who Rose? Me or you? Your so selfish you know that? How can you do this to me?"

What the fuck is her problem? Maybe it wasnt Tasha's ring but Lissa herself.

I could feel Rose tense, then she started shaking, I looked over to her and grabbed her face in my hand making her look into my eyes. Darkness once again Lissa has done it. That's it I wont allow this to hurt her anymore. She deserves to live just as much as the spoilt little princess does.

"Lissa I think its time you leave, dont bother coming back to Rose either. I will not allow you in. She has once again taken the darkness away from you. You need to leave NOW."

I wouldnt look away from Rose, all the time she was looking into my eyes I was keeping her calm. I wouldnt let her go into Tarasov no way. She was coming back to Russia with me. I was going to give her a happy life while I could. I would help her fight the darkness everystep of the way. I heard the door close behind me but I still didnt look.

I leaned down and softly placed my lips against hers. It was a soft kiss just one to let her know she was not alone. I pulled back and leaned my forehead to hers.

"Roza you are so special to me, you have be so mature about all this. Now its my turn to look after you. You are not going to Tarasov, your coming back to Russia with me. We are going to fight this darkness to our last breaths. But you will not be fighting it alone in a place you do not belong. I want no arguements you are not changing my mind,"

"Dimitri, I didnt lose control. You helped me."

"Of course I did."

I could tell she was tired so I layed her down gently and grabbed her hand rubbing circles into it with my thumb.

"Sleep now My Roza. In the morning we will leave this place."

I watched as her eyes closed and her breathing evened out. She as asleep. I grabbed my cell phone from my pocket and dialed Albertas number.

"Belikov is everything okay?"

"Its fine. But I need a favour?"

"And that would be?"

"Rose, she is not going to Tarasov. I am taking her to Russia. She can fight this and I will help her. I am resigning as a guardian. Could you arrange a plane to take us there please?"

"Bout time you stepped up. The planes ready to leave in three hours. Dimitri if anyone can help her its you. No one will find out. Her bags and yours are already packed."

"Thank you Alberta"

"Your welcome. Look after that girl Dimitri she means alot to alot of people"

She then hung up. Now to phone Mama. She answered on the first ring. speaking English.

"Hello?"

"Mama?"

"Dimka. I know and she is more then welcome, Your room is set up for the both of you. We cant wait."

"How did? Babushka?"

"Yes dear. She saw."

"Okay we will be there tomorrow night."

"We will be waiting. Love you Dimka."

"love you mama,"

I then hung up.

This was going to work I would help Rose fight this and give her the happiness she deserves with me, I cant believe I was stupid enough to leave her in the first place. She is my world. I looked to her sleeping form and smoothed some hair out of her face.

She is so beautiful. She is My Roza.

Tomorrow my love we start the rest of our lifes, and I couldnt wait.


	17. Loving his angel

**Previously on No Please Don't!**

This was going to work I would help Rose fight this and give her the happiness she deserves with me, I cant believe I was stupid enough to leave her in the first place. She is my world. I looked to her sleeping form and smoothed some hair out of her face.

She is so beautiful. She is My Roza.

Tomorrow my love we start the rest of our lifes, and I couldnt wait.

**Chapter 17,**

**Dimitri's POV,**

I had a plan, I was getting Rose out of here and away from all the negative in her life. I could help her fight this I knew I could, she deserves this, to be happy. Not protecting someone with her life. Looking after herself for a change.

I loved her with all my heart and I still couldn't believe I was going to leave her. At the time I thought it was a good idea, protect her but then Alberta told me that the Queen knew about us. And all this with darkness. I finally realized that when you find happiness you have to hold onto it because it doesn't come often.

Rose was my life now and always will be. I looked down to the sleeping angel in my arms and couldnt help but smile. I softly stroked her face with my left hand, running it along her cheeks and on her lips. I admired her, I was so proud of my Roza, she has shown amazing strength over the past few months. Telling us how she wanted to deal with this whole situation, then telling us she wanted to go to Tarasov before it was to late.

I couldnt believe that fate had gifted me with the most amazing person in the world. I would forever love her and take care of her. We would never come back if it helped her. I knew together we could fight the darknes. I knew it in my heart, because I would give Rose the strength to beat it.

I knew it was going to be hard and there was trying times ahead of us, but I would never make the same mistake and give up on her again. She is my life now.

I was bought out of my musing's by someone walking into the room. I looked up to see Tasha standing there with a smile on her face, to say it looked wierd would be an understatement. It was almost a sadistic smile.

"Tasha? What are you doing here?"

"Dimka, Its three in the morning and our flight will be leaving soon. I was waiting for you by the plane but you never showed. I came looking for you, now I see you were saying goodbye to Rose. I'll give you some space."

I looked at her like she had completely lost her mind, does she really not know that I am not going with her? Does she really not know that I am staying here with Rose?

Before she walked out I got up from the bed and stopped her.

"Tasha, I'm not coming with you. I told you this. My life is wherever Rose is, and thats not with you. I am staying here. Now you can leave if you want but you will need to find another guardian because I am no longer one."

She looked completely outraged with what I had just said to her, She looked from me to Rose with fire in her eyes.

"Your leaving me for this little blood whore? She cant give you what you want Dimitri, not like I can. I can give you a family, I can give you the world. Leave with me now and I'll forget all this."

She went to grab my hand but I snatched it back.

"Tasha, I am not leaving with you. I dont love you, I love Rose. She is my life. And you could never give me what I want cause your not her. I dont want kids if there not with Rose. So get the hell out of this room and my life. And dont ever call Rose a blood whore again do you hear."

"Your regret this Dimitri, Watch your prescious Roza Dimitri because accidents happen."

Before I could say anything back to her she left. How dare she act like she owns me. She is nothing to me, she is nothing. I cant believe I ever thought I could have a future with that bitch. I also couldnt believe that she threaten Rose. I would have to watch out for her until me and Rose were away from here.

I looked over to Rose and saw that she was still sound asleep. I went back over to the bed and layed next to her, I have to make sure all preparations were done and ready for us in the morning cause we were leaving as soon as she was ready. If I had my way I would take her now, but Alberta wanted to take us down to the airstrip and say goodbye, She thought of Rose as her daughter. I knew she would miss her.

It was 6pm when Alberta walked in and nodded to me, that was signal for everything is ready. I nodded back. I looked down to Rose and gently shook her. I hated waking her but knew it had to be done.

"Rose, beautiful its time to wake up."

Her eyes fluttered softly and then she was awake, she smiled softly at me and looked to Alberta.

"Morning comrade, Whats with waking me?"

"Well the planes here and waiting to take you to tarasov."

I still hadnt told her that she would be flying to Russia with me today, because I knew what she would say and there was no way that we were going to have that argument when all the plans had been made.

I knew hearing me say that was hard for her I could see it in her eyes. I saw the lone tear slide down her face and the far away look she got. I put my hand into hers.

"Roza I am here for you. We are going to get on that plane together. Your not alone in this."

She looked to me with a soft smile on her face.

"Thank you comrade, I love you with all my heart. I know your there for me but this is just hard. I have trained for years to become the best I can but now Im not going to get a chance to use what I know. Its not fair."

I cupped her face and looked into her eyes.

"No Roza, its not fair. And I wish I could help you. I am going to be here everystep of the way.. I am not going to leave your side once."

She nodded her head and got up to get ready. She left me and Alberta in the room while she went to the bathroom to change.

"Dimitri what you are doing is amazing. I know you and Rose are going to fight this darkness. I also know that you are both going to be very happy. I know you havent told Rose about the new plan but we both know that is for the best. You have the blessing of me and the queen but we ask you keep us updated with everything that is happenign with Rose."

"Of course Alberta. Thank you for your words. I will let Rose in on the plan, once were on the plane and on our way to Russia. she cant after all escape from a moving plan."

we both laughed at that, and knew that Rose would try anything to get away from us, she has it in her head that this darkness is going to kill her. Yeah well the one thing Anna was missing was me. Im not saying that Vladimir didnt love Anna, but my love for Rose outshines anything is this world. There is nothing I wouldnt do for the angel. She is everything to me. I would literarlly die for that girl.

I knew we would be fine. We are going to get the happiness we deserve.

Rose came out of the bathroom with a smile on her face, she walked over to me and grabbed my hand. We walked out of the infirmary and down to the airstrip with Alberta. Once there Alberta hugged Rose and whispered she loved her into her ear. She then came over to me and hugged me. Whispering to take good care of Rose.

I gave her my promises that I would and I would stay in touch. I grabbed Roses hand and walked onto the plane. I made sure she was sat near the window and I had the isle seat. Once we were in the air I began to tell Rose that we were going to Russia and not tarasov.

"Rose? I have something to tell you."

"What is it?"

"I'm not taking you to tarasov, Were going to Russia to live with my family. I have given up being a guardian because it means nothing without you."

"Dimitri I cant go to your family I will hurt them."

I cupped her face and smiled softly at her.

"No, you wont. I know in my heart that we can get through all this. I am not letting the darkness get the best of you. I am going to be with you everystep of the way, this is not going to beat us. I am not leaving yourside. I love you with all my heart. Nothing is ever going to change that. This is just another thing for us to over come."

"But you read the diary Dimirti"

"I did. But I am choosing to ignore it. I know we can do this. We can be happy Rose."

I knew she was mulling over what I had said cause I could see her thinking.

"Ok. This is how this is going to go. I will agree to go with you. But if things get to bad and you cant take me out of the darkness you either kill me or let me go to tarasov."

Kill her? Is she mad? How can she ask me to do that? But I knew she was being serious.

"OKay Roza you have my word."

With that she leaned her head onto my shoulder and closed her eyes. It would be another ten hours before we got to Russia. So I closed my eyes and joined her in some rest.


End file.
